Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 3)

Back on Ahch-To Rey discovered a stone hut which houses the original Jedi texts which, as we know, are 1,000 generations (or approximately 20,000 years) old.  This means that Master Skywalker did not choose this remote island planet for its remoteness but rather to stand watch over the Jedi texts.  One wonders whether this planet’s location is common knowledge.  If so, why haven’t the Sith or some of history’s past bad guys showed up and destroyed it?  Also, why wouldn’t anyone have thought to look for Luke here before?

Luke lets Rey know in no uncertain terms that he will never train a generation of new Jedi and that he came to this island to die.  We briefly see his X-wing submerged in the water which seems to indicate that he has no way of leaving the planet except that we are all familiar with the fact that X-wings are more than capable of being removed from water and being flyable.  The only question is that of duration.  In Dagobah his X-wing was submerged for likely a few days, on Ahch-To it could have been a few years.  At any rate it’s also likely that a spaceship designed to survive the rigors of space travel would likely be able to survive a while underwater as well.

On the Resistance ship Leia slaps Poe Dameron in the face and demotes him.  I’d have to say that Poe got off pretty easy in this situation.  I’m not a military man but personally I think anything short of court martial followed by immediate execution is a pretty light punishment for what he did.  Maybe it’s my age but I can’t help but think that Poe is a reckless fool and not a hero.  He needlessly lost a squadron of bombers and valuable lives.  As we see throughout the course of this movie the Resistance’s numbers seem to be best measured by the dozen.  This is not a move that should have left Poe Dameron anywhere other than the brig or the morgue.

Finn is waking up from his injuries in some sort of comical bacta suit.  I didn’t look it up, that’s just what I’m imagining it is.  I’m surprised they didn’t go for the bacta tank callback since these movies seem to be so fond of such things and I can’t decide if the suit with all the tubes is better or worse.  For some reason the scene is filmed in a comical way before Finn returns to action.

Meanwhile the rebels have found a new base they can retreat to. Leia reveals that she has a “binary cloaking beacon” which is Star Wars speak for a homing device which will allow Leia to keep tabs on Rey’s whereabouts.

The Resistance then jumps into hyperspace only to find that the First Order has tracked and followed them through hyperspace.  It’s well established law in the Star Wars universe that this is impossible.  It is not explained how they have done this just that they have.  While I have no problem with them changing the rules with such things it seems to only be delivered to advance the plot.  We have no idea why or how this happened.  It just seems like a convenient fact for the First Order.

It’s then revealed that they only have enough fuel for one more jump and that if the First Order follows them again they will be sitting ducks.

Now this does bother me.  Why?  Because nowhere in the Star Wars movies has the word “fuel” ever been mentioned before.  People love to say that Star Wars is fantasy and not science fiction.  I don’t necessarily agree with that one hundred percent but it’s not an entirely wrong statement.  Fuel, science, technical explanations, these are all things generally reserved for Star TrekStar Wars always seems to focus more on the story than that sort of thing.  The same way that no one in Star Wars has ever had to load their blaster or recharge their lightsaber.  Presumably these technologies have evolved beyond the batteries and gas pumps of our current day technology.

Please don’t start telling me about some nonsense you read in one of the EU novels published in 2004.  I’m talking Star Wars canon here, nothing else.

Some energy source somehow propels them through the stars but I always imagined it to be something more along the lines of Red Dwarf where they’re accumulating particles in space or regenerating matter or something.  Something more advanced than pulling up to the Dantooine Shell Station for a fill up.

When they decide that they can’t go into hyperspace they decide to simply outrun the First Order but this is a problem because it also reportedly burns fuel which they imply will eventually get them caught.  This makes even less sense.  I was watching and fully able to buy their fighters’ space maneuvers, “dropping” bombs in space, etc.  Now that they’ve brought up fuel I’m in science-mode.  Obviously you don’t burn up fuel in space.  You go as fast as you can go then stop burning fuel because inertia will allow you to travel for an infinite amount of time at top speed in a frictionless environment.   They may run out of food or supplies but they will never run out of fuel.  If they’d made it more of a space siege where their supplies were dwindling that could have made this scene have a little more impact though, admittedly, would have taken a considerably longer time to pull off.

I guess the idea of fuel isn’t that big a deal it’s just that it took them over forty years to bother bringing it up.  Fuel is the midichlorians of the new trilogy.  Don’t make me think about the science of all of this.  If I want science I’ll watch Star Trek.

Next up . . . Leiaaaas in Spaaaaaace!

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 2)

After the unnecessary, casualty-heavy battle against the First Order we return to the planet Ahch-To, where we last saw Rey handing Luke his old lightsaber at the end of The Force Awakens.  Waiting the last two years to find out what happens next was excruciating.  Even during the space battle it was hard to not think about what was going to happen next.  What would he do when he took the lightsaber?  What would he say?

Well, as we all know, Luke takes it and tosses it over his shoulder as he blows past Rey to leave her standing dumbfounded.  I have to say, this was pretty surprising.  With all the things we’ve all thought and wondered about what would happen I don’t know anyone who guessed this.  While it’s shocking and surprising I’m not really sure why it happened.  Sure it sets the tone for the rest of the interaction we’ll see between Luke and Rey but it is still a pretty big letdown after all the anticipation.

While all this is going on we see Porgs everywhere.  They are like an infestation on this planet that we somehow missed at the end of The Force Awakens.  They’re like Ewoks if Ewoks were cuter and served far less of a point in the plot.  While I avoided all spoilers, trailers, and fan theories going into this movie it was impossible to avoid that the Porgs would be coming so when I saw them I expected them to have some sort of purpose to the story.  Apparently the only thing they were there for was to almost kill each other with a lightsaber and to make Chewbacca feel guilty about being a carnivore.

Rey then follows Luke around the island a bunch.  He sort of meanders around the island, balances on a super long stick, and catches a comically large fish.  He’s like Goku in the first episode of Dragon Ball if Goku was 50 years older and really grumpy.

Eventually Chewbacca meets up with them much to Luke’s surprise.  He is also completely unaware of Han Solo’s fate.  This sort of bothered me.  Han Solo is Luke Skywalker’s best friend, right?  He’s also the husband (estranged or not) of his twin sister and father to his nephew.  How did Luke not sense Han’s death?  Either he was willfully “turning off” his Force sensitivity or he just didn’t have the ability to sense it.  I don’t like any of those answers.

I’ve heard that Mark Hamill was not entirely happy with the direction Luke Skywalker took in this movie and early on in the movie it becomes apparent why.  Luke Skywalker was a whiny, annoying kid in the original movies but by Return of the Jedi we’ve seen a huge amount of maturing and he turns into someone you would think would be worthy of being called a Jedi.  In The Last Jedi Luke is annoyed, grumpy, sarcastic, and exhausted.  We are left wondering if Rey can be the one that turns him around and makes him back into the man he once was.

One thing is for sure, the Jedi seem to be quitters.  Yoda’s self imposed exile seems fine during The Empire Strikes Back but when we see how he came to that exile in Revenge of the Sith we can’t help but wonder why Yoda is so lame.  We were told Yoda was a great warrior.  Apparently the way he shows that is by trying to stop a bad guy one time, failing, then just giving up and going off to die on a remote planet.

Apparently this is something Luke learned from his old master.  If things don’t go your way in the epic struggle against evil just leave.  Run away, give up, leave your friends to die, let your sister tirelessly fight alone without your help.  After all, you’re a Jedi, how could you possible help?  Why don’t you just drink blue milk out of the teat of some grumpy, vaguely humanoid alien for the rest of your life instead of standing up for what you believe in?  That’s the way of the Jedi.  Fight to the death?  No way!  That’s too dangerous!  It’s much easier to run away and feel sorry for yourself for the rest of your life.  That’s’s the classic hero’s journey.

I’m starting to think that a better ending for Obi-Wan in A New Hope would have been Obi-Wan simply sprinting down the hallway in the Death Star and jumping in an escape pod to get away from Darth Vader never to be seen again.

Apparently Obi-Wan would have benefited from the ancient Jedi texts that Yoda and Luke both had access to.

Next up . . . The chase is on!