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Fett Cartoon (He Was Told it Would Help His Career) |
While the guards are futzing around the Wookiees' home, Malla takes Lumpy over to a table and sets him up with a pair of yellow headphones. Lumpy looks around to see if anyone is watching him and, when he discovers he is alone, he begins to watch a cartoon. Apparently the Empire has some sort of law against cartoons that we don't know about. If it's such a crime for him to be watching this cartoon, one wonders why Malla decides to allow him to do it, particularly at the exact moment that they are hosting five Imperial officers and stormtroopers in their home.
"I hope these Imperials don't catch me watching the Boba Fett cartoon as it casts one of their leaders in a rather negative light and that must be illegal."
The cartoon is an odd tale, narrated by Captain Kazan of the cruiser RS Revenge who is awaiting the return of Han Solo and Chewbacca from their mission to obtain a mystical talisman that makes things invisible. Threepio, Artoo and Luke stand on the bridge of the cruiser as the Millennium Falcon sends a video communication that shows Chewbacca in the foreground while Han is dangling upside-down behind him. They fly recklessly past the Rebel base while Chewbacca does a poor job of communicating with the Rebels.
It appears that Chewbacca has gone crazy and tied up Han, hanging him from the ceiling. Luke doesn't waste much time before he jumps in a Y-wing and follows the Falcon down to a planet that appears to be made of strawberry Jell-O. After a few moments, they are attacked by a Jell-O dragon. They are rescued from the attack by a man named Boba Fett.
"I'm not picking up any cities or technology, massive Jell-O readings though."
When they enter the Millennium Falcon, Chewbacca stuns Luke, causing him to pass out. It is explained that there is some sort of sleeping virus that the Empire uses on its enemies. The only way to keep the person alive is to hang them upside down and have the blood rush to their heads. Apparently, this virus also makes sleep deadly, but that is not explained.
Boba Fett offers to go into the city with Chewbacca to get the antidote for the virus. Boba breaks away from Chewie and uses some sort of card to call Darth Vader on a video terminal. He tells Darth that everything is going accordingly to plan. Apparently Boba and Darth are in the business of making dumbass plans together.
At this point, Lumpy shrieks at the sight of Darth Vader. When the Imperial officer comes to investigate, Lumpy has replaced the video with a game. Two questions are raised: Is this cartoon based in their reality? It features planets and characters that exist in their reality, but it does not appear to contain any form of satire. It would be like if kids in 1978 watched a cartoon about the adventures of Jimmy Carter. (Which would be awesome, by the way.) The second question is: Why is Lumpy so terrified of being caught watching a cartoon? What sort of absurd laws does the Empire have where video games are okay but watching cartoons is illegal?
When the guard leaves, Lumpy gets back to the cartoon where he left off.
Somehow, R2-D2 manages to hack into the transmission on the Millennium Falcon and hear that Darth Vader is involved with Boba Fett. Darth Vader tells Boba, "That's why you're the best bounty hunter in the galaxy." Darth Vader is apparently not only a master of the Force, but also of exposition.
Afterwards, the antidote is delivered and both Luke and Han are instantly cured. However, just as Boba Fett's identity is revealed, he makes a quick escape.
Chewie tells them that he knew all along that Boba was a bad guy. "Why is that?" Luke asks. Threepio translates, "Because he simply didn't smell right." Then they all laugh. Oh, how they laugh. They laugh at Chewbacca's primitive nature and reliance on his sense of smell. Oh, it must be great fun to be a collection of racists aboard a starship.
"Oh, Chewie, you're becoming more human every day!"
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