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Are you from around here? pick up lines

#46 BiggSpiffy

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Posted 27 July 2005 - 09:44 PM

if you like dead monkeys falling out of trees

#47 Slade

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 01:48 AM

I'd like to try "You'd look like the Venus DeMilo if you cut off your arms." some time. A laugh or a confused look would be equally appreciated.

It takes a seriously desperate (or socially outcast) woman to contemplate geeks most often. If I cared about that stuff I'd probably be rather lonely and upset at this point.

And on jokes: What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree?

A pool table.

Or: So two guys of one nationality and a third guy of a different nationality are doing something. The first two guys do something intelligent, and the third guy does something dumb that's part of a racial stereotype.

Better still: A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a sailor, an Irishman, a Scottsman, a Frenchman, and Englishman, two dogs, a giraffe, a gangster, and a laughing horse all walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "I'm sorry, but you've exceeded the character limit for this joke and you'll all have to leave."

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#48 Dorothy

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 09:32 AM

BiggSpiffy: I would so love it if a dead monkey fell out of a tree. I think I would pass out laughing so very hard.

Slade: The pool table joke is one of my favorites. Except I always tell it - "What is fuzzy, green, has four legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree." All the best jokes have to do with something or someone falling out of a tree...

"The problem is, you're not a kangaroo... that's a bear... and he's in your pants."
"Maybe artists shouldn't talk about their art."
"Well kids, I guess your father isn't a hermaphrodite."
"Izzy! enough with the rabid smootching!!"

#49 barend

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Posted 28 July 2005 - 07:51 PM

i always loved the episode of futurama at mars university where the proffessor thows a gass grenade into a clearing... a few seconds pass then a bunch of birds fall out onto the ground unconcious...

,.. then a tiger...

then an elephant.

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#50 BiggSpiffy

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Posted 29 July 2005 - 09:13 AM

hahaha thats funny, but if i was walking somewhere and i saw something dead fall out of a tree, i dont think i woul pass out laughing, i would just try to get away as fast as possible so people wouldnt think it was me that did it.

This post has been edited by BiggSpiffy: 29 July 2005 - 09:14 AM

#51 floppydisk

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Posted 29 July 2005 - 04:55 PM

QUOTE (Slade @ Jul 28 2005, 01:48 AM)

And on jokes: What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree?

A pool table.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Since when do pool tables fall out of trees?

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#52 Emu

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Posted 29 July 2005 - 05:15 PM

Since I started stealing them and hiding them there.

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#53 Despondent

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Posted 29 July 2005 - 08:39 PM

They're cousins, actually.

"(hey baby) do you think that some tree actually Knew it would become the pool table which I'd like to get to know you on?"

#54 Slade

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Posted 29 July 2005 - 11:05 PM

Noyt enough Os in smooth to describe you, Despondent.

Floppy: If you don't get it, I can't explain it to you.

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#55 BiggSpiffy

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Posted 30 July 2005 - 11:11 AM

no one can ever explain jokes, because then their not funny anymore, which makes them no longer jokes

#56 barend

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Posted 31 July 2005 - 11:23 PM

just thought of a good line:

"hey nice head... can i have some?"

#57 Icey

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Posted 31 July 2005 - 11:26 PM

Say that to me, even though you wouldn't get head, I'd buy you a drink just for that line.

#58 BiggSpiffy

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Posted 01 August 2005 - 06:12 PM

there are some really odd pick up lines in the world today

#59 Icey

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Posted 01 August 2005 - 06:31 PM

How about this one:

"You're pretty fat."

According to a friend of mine, it's guarenteed to work. On ladies that is.

#60 barend

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Posted 01 August 2005 - 06:52 PM

how about...

"let's face it... you're going home alone, or with me."

of course all she has to say is "alone"

and she's one uped you and thusly prevented you from one uping her.