Are you from around here? pick up lines
#47
Posted 28 July 2005 - 01:48 AM
I'd like to try "You'd look like the Venus DeMilo if you cut off your arms." some time. A laugh or a confused look would be equally appreciated.
It takes a seriously desperate (or socially outcast) woman to contemplate geeks most often. If I cared about that stuff I'd probably be rather lonely and upset at this point.
And on jokes: What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree?
A pool table.
Or: So two guys of one nationality and a third guy of a different nationality are doing something. The first two guys do something intelligent, and the third guy does something dumb that's part of a racial stereotype.
Better still: A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a sailor, an Irishman, a Scottsman, a Frenchman, and Englishman, two dogs, a giraffe, a gangster, and a laughing horse all walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "I'm sorry, but you've exceeded the character limit for this joke and you'll all have to leave."
It takes a seriously desperate (or socially outcast) woman to contemplate geeks most often. If I cared about that stuff I'd probably be rather lonely and upset at this point.
And on jokes: What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree?
A pool table.
Or: So two guys of one nationality and a third guy of a different nationality are doing something. The first two guys do something intelligent, and the third guy does something dumb that's part of a racial stereotype.
Better still: A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a sailor, an Irishman, a Scottsman, a Frenchman, and Englishman, two dogs, a giraffe, a gangster, and a laughing horse all walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "I'm sorry, but you've exceeded the character limit for this joke and you'll all have to leave."
This space for rent. Inquire within.
#48
Posted 28 July 2005 - 09:32 AM
BiggSpiffy: I would so love it if a dead monkey fell out of a tree. I think I would pass out laughing so very hard.
Slade: The pool table joke is one of my favorites. Except I always tell it - "What is fuzzy, green, has four legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree." All the best jokes have to do with something or someone falling out of a tree...
Slade: The pool table joke is one of my favorites. Except I always tell it - "What is fuzzy, green, has four legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree." All the best jokes have to do with something or someone falling out of a tree...
"The problem is, you're not a kangaroo... that's a bear... and he's in your pants."
"Maybe artists shouldn't talk about their art."
"Well kids, I guess your father isn't a hermaphrodite."
"Izzy! enough with the rabid smootching!!"
"Maybe artists shouldn't talk about their art."
"Well kids, I guess your father isn't a hermaphrodite."
"Izzy! enough with the rabid smootching!!"
#49
Posted 28 July 2005 - 07:51 PM
i always loved the episode of futurama at mars university where the proffessor thows a gass grenade into a clearing... a few seconds pass then a bunch of birds fall out onto the ground unconcious...
,.. then a tiger...
then an elephant.
,.. then a tiger...
then an elephant.
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#50
Posted 29 July 2005 - 09:13 AM
hahaha thats funny, but if i was walking somewhere and i saw something dead fall out of a tree, i dont think i woul pass out laughing, i would just try to get away as fast as possible so people wouldnt think it was me that did it.
This post has been edited by BiggSpiffy: 29 July 2005 - 09:14 AM
#51
Posted 29 July 2005 - 04:55 PM
QUOTE (Slade @ Jul 28 2005, 01:48 AM)
Since when do pool tables fall out of trees?
QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)
If you will it, it is no dream.
#52
Posted 29 July 2005 - 05:15 PM
Since I started stealing them and hiding them there.
Head Gunner for the Royal Sloop Crimson Steel, Queen of the Dead, Instigator of Chaos and Confusion, Knight of the Grand Recursive Order of the Lambda Calculus, and also The Non.
Remember Emu's face, people; one day it's going to be on the news alongside a headline about blowing some landmark to smithereens, and then we can all sigh and say, "She was such a normal person".....
....We'd be lying though.
-Laughlyn
If my doctor tells me to exercise, I am going to force him to do my homework.
-Mirithorn
- Do Not Use the Elevators - deviantART - Infinite Monkeys -
Remember Emu's face, people; one day it's going to be on the news alongside a headline about blowing some landmark to smithereens, and then we can all sigh and say, "She was such a normal person".....
....We'd be lying though.
-Laughlyn
If my doctor tells me to exercise, I am going to force him to do my homework.
-Mirithorn
- Do Not Use the Elevators - deviantART - Infinite Monkeys -
#56
Posted 31 July 2005 - 11:23 PM
just thought of a good line:
"hey nice head... can i have some?"
"hey nice head... can i have some?"
>>The Adventures of Heinrich Von Bastard<< (A Web Comic)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#60
Posted 01 August 2005 - 06:52 PM
how about...
"let's face it... you're going home alone, or with me."
of course all she has to say is "alone"
and she's one uped you and thusly prevented you from one uping her.
"let's face it... you're going home alone, or with me."
of course all she has to say is "alone"
and she's one uped you and thusly prevented you from one uping her.
>>The Adventures of Heinrich Von Bastard<< (A Web Comic)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)