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Edited by: Jacques
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"If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every bootlegged copy of that program and smash it."
- George Lucas

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chapter12

The Pornographic Masturbation Chamber

Itchy puts on the simulation helmet and begins his virtual reality experience.


Itchy gets fastened into the Wookiee masturbation chamber.

After a full minute and a half of swirly shapes and a kaleidoscope effect, we are greeted by an overly sexualized woman (Diahann Carroll) who is speaking in a sultry manner about how she is "getting your message" to Itchy. We can only assume that "message" in this case means "boner".


Hello there, hot stuff. I have a scratch you can itch.

She says, "I'll tell you a secret. I find you adorable". Itchy keeps hitting replay and listens to her say this an additional four times. She explains that she is his fantasy. A second woman appears over her and says "Experience me". Then she bursts into a song about how she never wants this moment to end. Judging by the length of this performance she very nearly gets her wish.


Mermia "experiences" Itchy.

One can't help but wonder if this signaled the end of Diahann Carroll's career.


Diahann Carrol, about 26 minutes into her musical number.

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