[Voodoo Dog]

Did you ever wonder why there are so many fucking pricks in the world? Because it's so damn fun that's why! Here's a couple of ideas:

1. Burn a twenty quid note under a homeless man's nose.
2. Whenever you see a suffer of piles scream "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!"
3. Ask people what gender they are.
4. Get blitzed on an illegal substance and post fake perversions all over an internet forum(click signature for details).
5. Pour itching powder on a quadruple amputee.

There! That should ensure I go to hell when I die.

[Gobbler]

6. Direct a blind man to a pillar and tell him all he's got to do to get home is just to keep to the wall.

[barend]

7. always ask prostitutes and drug dealers for a receipt.

This post has been edited by barend: 13 September 2006 - 06:46 PM

[Wayne]

Voodoo dog, you can't become addicted to LSD. You develop a tolerance to it almost instantaneously, and if you use it roughly twice within a five day period, you will get almost no results the second time through. Next time, lie about getting addicted to Adderall or... you know... something plausible. Sorry for the off topicness, I hope that this hasn't been brought up yet, but judging by the fact that his signature is still "It was just an acid trip" I don't think it has.

what the hell-
9. Name your kid Shoney's.

[Slade]

10. Sell out to the man.
11. Shove any random object up someone's arse while they're trashed.
12. Fart in an elevator.

[Chyld]

13. Cover passed out drunk people in shaving foam. When they're in their damn beds, mind.
14. Give utterly ratted stoners a teabag in a Rizla and claim its a joint.
15. Set mousetraps on top of alarm clocks.
16. If you're at a houseparty, the house has no locks, and there's a couple predisposed horizontally in a room, be sure to put together a chorus group and serenade them.

Just to reassure you, I've not had my hand caught in a mousetrap, I just thought that that was funny.

[Voodoo Dog]

I didn't mean physically addicted, I meant mentally addicted. As in "Shit, I'm running out of witty things to say, better load up". And LSD wasn't the only thing I was on, it was just the main one.

Anyway...

17. Make beeping noises when really large people back up.
18. Sneak a melon into a toilet cubicle. When you're sure the other stalls are occupied, drop the melon into the toilet bowl from a height of six feet. Then say "AAAHHH! That's better."
19. Interupt other people's threads and say they were lying about being stoned.
20. Here's one if you work behind a bar. Wait until an old age pensioner comes in and orders alcohol. Insist they show you proof that they are over the age of 18. If they don't have it, kick them out.

[Icey]

21. When working at a videostore, insist that every single DVD or video casette someone asks for, even if they bring in the cover for it, is lost or sommehow mysteriously destroyed. Untill they either give up or rent Slither.

[Slade]

22. Deliberately ignore scanning instructions when given tests to scan when the items marked have been emphatically circled and highlighted.
23. Drum your fingers on a surface, tap your feet, or some other twitchy tic thingy that makes noise/shakes the objects you're around.
24. Painstakingly place empty gum wrappers back into a package of gum, ensuring that it looks like there's still gum in them, and then offer people sticks of gum. Then laugh when they mistake your dickery for generosity.

[Deepsycher]

(25) If you have a cold and nobody else has a cold, spit and breathe into the gravy discretely.
(26) In the busy or rush hour put super glue on toilet seats.
(27) Mix the sugar and the salt in both jars.
(28) Leave the jars loose on all bottles.

[Emu]

(29) during class, act like you're the only one there and the class exists solely for your benefit. shout out wrong answers to obvious questions before the teacher has even finished asking them, and certainly avoid letting anyone else have the chance to answer. interrupt the teacher to finish her sentences. act like you know everything there possibly is to know about the subject, and then ask really dumb questions.

[Deepsycher]

Now with no.29 I think it would be more inconsiderate if the right answers were said with details about them because the teacher would have nothing more to say afterwards. If they do, channel a one to one conversation asking more questions in detail to be required for learning the work and can't be answered from the books. Can't easily be faulted for that because knowledge is truely learnt whilst the rest of the class could get frustrated. Now I see that would be more inconsiderate.

No.30 Do you live in a flat with someone who watches loud football games on the same aerial? Unplug your televisions and attempt a 12 volt charge down the aerial socket.

No.31 Have any rotting foods or groceries?
Take them to the rotten neighbours and give them what they are use to. There houses could do with a bit of organic decorating.

No.32 Mix bleach in the shampoo packaging.

No.33 Flush sugar in someone's petrol tank.

No.33 Stuff a giant potato up an exhaust pipe of a vehicle. I heared that could do a lot of damage on mini buses and vans.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 14 September 2006 - 07:34 PM

[Vesuvius]

Place plastic wrap under the lid of toilet seats.
Wipe Limburger cheese on door handles
Place clear tape on the ear and mouth parts of phones at your job. (Everyone ends up yelling!)
Place a can of open sardines in the air conditioner vents at your job. (Give it two days)
Use KrazyGlue and glue all products of the same type together.

[Vesuvius]

Oops! That makes 38. Forgot to count 'em up. Sorry.

[Voodoo Dog]

Actually, it's 39. Deepsycher used the same number twice.

40. Name your first-born son "Dick".
41. Name your first-born daughter "Fanny".
42. Name all the rest of them "Retard".
43. Buy a house. Then pay for it in pennies. They would actually have to accept that, it's legal tender.
44. Turn all the books on a bookcase around so that the pages face outwards.
45. If you work in an office, put a dustbin on your desk and label it "IN".

This post has been edited by Voodoo dog: 15 September 2006 - 03:37 AM