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Junk Mail Of The Funny Kind

#1 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 24 July 2005 - 11:40 AM

Right, we all get junk mail. Sometimes its so odd its funny. Here's some that I've got. Do contribute.

QUOTE
From :  Surya Mahadeva <msevents@gmail.com>
Sent :  21 July 2005 18:24:31
To :  "chyld@less-is-more.co.uk" <chyld@less-is-more.co.uk>
Subject :  Philipino band (two piece) , required for six months beginning October 05

MS Events & Entertainers
C/o. Nataratna Films, 8-3-184 (1st Floor), Near Passport Office, Kummarguda,
Secunderabad - 500 013, Andhra Pradesh.

Date: 16/07/2005.

Dear Sir / Madam,

We are interested in a Philipino band (two piece) who can play in our clients
Bar. 5 Star Property, They will be required for six months beginning October 05.
Let me if you can take up the performance, if so what would be the cost.

Incase you cannot perform, if you can provide and what will be the cost or
kindly refer us to the Entertainers, who would like to perform.

If you know anyone who is already in INDIA, please give us the contact details,
so that we contact them for hiring them. Our website: www.humancrafts.com

Kindly let us know yahoo / msn / google groups, wherein we have we can register
ourselves, to have updates and developments on Philipino Music.

We look forward of your services that pertains to humancrafts such Services,
which are of regular service requirements, that every needs such as: Corporate
Events, Social Events, Celebrity Events, Entertainment Events, Exhibitions,
Promotions and Artists Coordination (for ad agencies).

Models / Actresses / Singers Invited, since it is continuous requirement for our
company.

Event Executives of humancrafts firm shapes clients / hosts Dreams into REALITY.

We do expect that we would be of tremendous help to Your troupe and You too in
gaining Assignments / Job works, related to your activity of Entertainment,
since we as Event Management are always in constant touch with those who require
Entertainers.

Contact us for further information on any assignments that pertains to Event or
Entertainment issue.

Thanking you,
For MS Events & Entertainers

Surya Mahadeva / CEO
0-98480 58455.
www.humancrafts.com

Click to REMOVE. Respecting You is Our Primary Responsibility. We have u r
reference, from various OPEN CONTACT sources including in Web Directories and we
did compiled emails those who are associated with said activities any one who
desires not to receive email from us, Click to REMOVE.


MS Events & Entertainers
C/o. Nataratna Films, 8-3-184 (1st Floor), Near Passport Office, Kummarguda,
Secunderabad – 500 013, Andhra Pradesh.


and also:

QUOTE
From :  Aileen Jamison <sepxtdsx@northstate.net>
To :  alhaithamsapra@hotmail.com
Subject :  All the mads you need in one place! raceway

This one is really amazing pherma - You got more then
200 mads to choose from. Additionally, you get rock-bottom
deeals, because we are here for you!

Come on now!
http://geopolitic.czxugs.com


grandmaster flash is credited with using the electronic beat box which he put it
between his turntables and use it to play the beat between mixing records.
as a matter of fact most of the charges are allegations that are not
substantiated by any evidence the most common word during the whole afternoon is
“.
i just recently bought a timneh grey and i was wondering if your website
included timnehs as an african grey.
i ended up buying tickets for some other movie that i had never heard about and
then sneaked into spiderman.
seriously without a shadow of a doubt can t wait for the initiation and the
resulting orgy weg.
oh dear there he goes running off half-cocked! when will severus lear n to stop
and think before rushing off?
dauer- i love the cd there is no doubt in my mind you guys will go far with this
one thank you for all of your advice.
if you like it and decide you want to be a part of it just tell me the forget
who you are productions inc home is located at.
what s your opinion on the current us quest for african oil and military
anti-terror deployment in the sahel mali mauritania ?
aeromexico vacations distinctive travel destinations throughout mexico - cancun
all-inclusive vacation package cancun vacations mexico travel packages los cabos
mexico vacations mexican vacations.
mais uma da nossa companheira de trilha ecológica em serra negra e integrante da
equipe de josildo sá.
how do you out up with these rude people?!?!?!? i mean by now i would have hunt
them down and shot them!!!! i think ill do it anyway!

When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
0

#2 User is offline   floppydisk Icon

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Posted 24 July 2005 - 11:44 AM

What the hell was up with that last one? It's like fan mail on crack.
QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)
If you will it, it is no dream.
0

#3 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 24 July 2005 - 11:47 AM

WTF? Those are insane! I wish my junk mail was funny.
Want a Tarot reading?

PM me, we'll talk.
0

#4 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 24 July 2005 - 02:30 PM

Sadly, thats all the funny ones I've ever seen. And yes, I did wonder, reading the second one, where on Earth one could get a "timneh grey" on my site. And this came out ages before Harry Potter 6, so I don't get "when will severus lear n to stop and think before rushing off?" Far as I can tell, all he did until then wa a bit of sneering and some throwing.

EDIT: Not so much junk mail as a rather lame virus attempt...

QUOTE
From :  <admin@less-is-more.co.uk>
Sent :  Monday, July 11, 2005 10:49 PM
To :  chyld@less-is-more.co.uk
Subject :  *DETECTED* Online User Violation

Attachment :  document.zip (0.04 MB)

Dear user chyld,

It has come to our attention that your Less-is-more User Profile ( x ) records are out of date. For further details see the attached document.

Thank you for using Less-is-more!
The Less-is-more Support Team



+++ Attachment: No Virus (Clean)
+++ Less-is-more Antivirus - www.less-is-more.co.uk


That had me shitting myself then, until I rememberd that I'm the Less Is More admin, I don't have a support team, and I don't have any sort of records because I'm lazy. Plus, nobody spells it Less-is-more...

This post has been edited by Chyld: 24 July 2005 - 02:39 PM

When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
0

#5 User is offline   Rhubarb Icon

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Posted 24 July 2005 - 05:36 PM

Lamest topic ever.

Okay, it isn't. But do we really need to circulate spam more widely? I fail to see anything unusual about those examples. The only humour I can discern is of the OMG SO LAME variety, with some random lines, which all spam has in spades.
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#6 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 25 July 2005 - 12:14 AM

QUOTE
:  All the mads you need in one place!


Damn, I had my hopes up that they were releasing MST3K on DVD.
This space for rent. Inquire within.
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