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Icey
16 Sep 2008 - 16:31
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Elite Beat Agents
Posted 5 Jun 2008
I'm bad at introductories so I'll cut straight to the chase: Has ANYONE here played/owned Elite Beat Agents for the Nintendo DS?
For the uninformed, Elite Beat Agents is a rhythm game released for the Nintendo DS back in 2006. Its creation was largely due to the success of the Japanese rhythm game Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan! (translates to "Go! Fight" Cheersquad!"), a game featuring Japanese cheerleaders who run around town solving people's problems through the power of motivational cheer. It sold so many copies outside of Japan that Nintendo and INIS teamed up to create Elite Beat Agents to sell it to a massive North American market (what average U.S. citizen in their right mind would buy a game loaded with non-understandable Japanese culture, much less understand the language?).
The premise of the game is simple: A comic-styled scenario begins with someone going about their otherwise hum-drum life when suddenly they find themselves in an unescapable crisis and - literally - shout for help. Cue the Elite Beat Agents, a top-secret agency of specially trained dancers who appear from out of nowhere in some kind of vehicle (limosine, helicopter, submarine, etc.) and proceed to dance the trouble away. The reason behind this is that the dancing is supposed to motivate the person into overcoming their trouble, but that's beside the point. All you need to know is that they freaking DANCE, and these aren't your standard routine "Shake-a-leg, bob-your-head-up-and-down" style dances either; the Agents are capable of pulling off some of the most tightly choreographed dance routines you'll ever see. They do it with such a lithe, clean posture that you wonder if they've ever set their shoes on fire from all that dancing.
On to the gameplay, which is as simple and easy to get into as it is challenging and borderline sadistic. A numbered, colored marker (red, blue, yellow, or green) will appear on the DS touchscreen and a larger circle will appear outside of it. The larger circle will slowly close in on the marker in time to the beat of the song. When the circle is close to the edge of the marker, you must tap the marker with your stylus to create a "beat" and earn you points. It's difficult to describe in detail, so I guess it's one of those things that you have to play to really understand. Not coincidentally, tapping each "beat marker" keeps your health meter up and also affects each scenario you play. Depending on how well you time each tap, the action that's taking place on the top screen will change; miss a beat or tap too early/late and action will be reflective of a Saturday morning cartoon as the person in trouble lands themself in deeper, whereas perfect or near-perfect timing will result in the person overcoming their trouble. Each part of a song is broken up into three or four segments. Depending on where you health meter is by the time you reach the end of each one will affect the story in some way. If your health meter is in the yellow/"Yes" zone then the person will pass their trouble with flying colors; if you're in the red/"No" or lower zone, the person will botch their plan for overcoming the trouble. Passing or failing each segment will affect the ending of the story but too many misses or not enough perfect taps and you'll be greeted with the infamous "Mission Failed" screen as you helplessly watch the person be overcome by their troubles.
The song selection runs the gammut from Kidz Bop pop to old school rock and strikes a fine balance for each demographic. From Deep Purple's "Highway Star" to Madonna's "Material Girl" to Good Charlotte's "The Anthem" to Jamiroquai's "Canned Heat", there's sure to be something for everyone here, although the game could have benefited from a list of songs from more popular or universally accepted artists (i.e. ZZ Top, Blue Oyster Cult, Guns N' Roses, Poison, etc.). Regardless, it's one of the most random mish-mash of song selections ever; yes, that means even more than Guitar Hero. All of the songs are covers, but most of them sound even better than the originals (shockingly enough!).
The scenarios which you play in usually depict someone going through a tough spot, but these aren't your standard "Write a twenty-page research paper in three hours" ordeals. Examples include:
-Helping a girl go steady with her boyfriend while baby-sitting the young'uns
-Saving the world from "kissing zombies" by throwing peanuts into their mouths
-Helping a retired professional baseball player save an amusement park from a giant fire-breathing golem (seriously)
-Help the son of a car company owner use his family-inherent ninja skills to steal back the plans to their latest car design
-Help an amateur magician save a casino from bandits
The list goes on. Looking at some of the scenarios you can't help but wonder if the developers were high while thinking some of these up. How often do you save the world from music hating aliens with the power of dance alone? It makes absolutely no sense but that's where part of the charm comes from. Sometimes you just want to play something so absolutely goofy and ridiculous that you can't help but crack a huge grin.
At the risk of making this sound a full-blown review (although it was probably made clear earlier on), the game has its share of problems and frustration, mainly the difficulty. The main game feature four difficulty levels (aptly named Breezin', Cruisin', Sweatin', and Hard ROCK!) and newcomers are definitely advised to start the the easiest of the two already-unlocked difficulties. Some of the higher difficulties will have even Guitar Hero nutjobs reeling back in horror at some of the most inhumane beat and marker patterns to ever grace the rhythm game genre. The highest difficulty is just pure madness, rivaling (dare I say it) "Through The Fire And Flames" in Guitar Hero III. Also, some of the songs will be either hit-or-miss for some people. How many (sane) people do you know who can stay sane after hearing Avril Lavigne's "Sk8er boi" or not want to rip their ears off because of Ashlee Simpson's "La La"?
There's also a multiplayer section which allows you to play any song against another person but it's not Wi-Fi and the game hasn't sold enough copies to give the multiplayer much consideration, although you can play against saved Ghost data, but you're screwing yourself over if you've achieved a perfect score because you'll never beat them.
So, that's Elite Beat Agents for you! One of the most bizarre, charming, addictive rhythm games ever, and I recommend it to anyone with a DS or anyone who loves rhythm games in general.
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