1. War! What Is It Good For
I won't bore you with the remaining two paragraphs of the opening crawl for Episode III. I feel that the first paragraph sets the tone nicely enough.
I will admit this opening paragraph is pretty lame. However, at least the tone of it leads the viewer believe that something exciting (ie. a battle/war) is occuring rather than "The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute" or "There is unrest in the Galactic Senate as several hundred solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Republic".
The next two paragraphs provide the viewer with sufficient information to
understand what will be happening. There is going to be a space battle because the Republic is trying to prevent Grievous from escaping with Palpatine.
Who exactly are the heroes on the other side? Count Dooku? Nute Gunray? Presumably the other side's hero was that battle droid that said "Roger, roger!"
I think General Grievous can easily be classified as a hero from the Separatists view. I can imagine it would require something quite "heroic" for an individual to be able to sneak into the Republic capital, which is likely to be heavily guarded (by both clones and the Jedi), and kidnap the leader of the Republic. This would be the equivalent of a terrorist abducting George Bush. Would that be an easy task to accomplish? I don't think so.
And you know Count Dooku would be considered a hero by the Separatists, so I am puzzled as to why you would even ask. He's the person who gathered thousands of star systems together to fight a powerful enemy. Again, I don't think it would be THAT easy to motivate small star systems to battle the Republic. And if you didn't watch Episode II closely enough, he also owned Obi-Wan and Anakin in a lightsaber duel, and hardly broke a sweat against Yoda. Dooku definitely deserves hero classification.
As for other heroes, look at the Clone Wars. Let's assume that the Separatists won a few battles. Let's also assume that they won a few battles due to great leadership. Presumably, that leader would be a hero. And if you use your imagination, the Separatists aren't strictly limited to droids and Nute Gunray. There were over a thousand star systems in the Separatists.
2. The space battle that opens Revenge of the Sith is impressive but meaningless. It's like watching a swarm of bumblebees simultaneously masturbate while singing "We Are The Champions" - impressive, but nonsensical.
It really isn't that difficult to follow the Jedi Star Fighters if you actually try. The problem is we aren't totally familiar with the new ships, so it is a bit difficult to follow everything. I've seen the movie three times now and the amount of detail in the space battle is absolutely amazing. On my last viewing, I focused on aspects aside from the Jedi and it really is incredible as to how much detail was put into this. I still do like the ROTJ space battle better, but simply because you cannot beat perfection.
3. X-Wing Precursors (Two Wings Are Better Than Three)
Airplanes were originally biplanes which had two wings on each side. Today we see airplanes with one wing on each side and a jet engine. Maybe there is some engineering explanation as to why two wings are better than three.
I have difficulty understanding the remainder of what you are complaining about. Are you whining about the fact that the X-wing precursors are attempting to link us to the OT and fail? How do they fail? By having an extra two wings?
4. R2 Fights the Buzz Droids
What would you prefer, a more original idea? A center eye seems like a logical point for a weakness to be, considering how the eye is most likely where the droid interprets its surroundings. Would you rather have Obi-Wan say "R2, zap the buzz droid in its mechanical penis"?
5. R2 Leaps Out of Ship
Did you ever consider the fact that the Jedi Starfighters may be equipped with some sort of spring device which propels R2 out of the ship? Maybe the X-Wing isn't equipped with this accessory.
Also, how does R2 get out of the X-Wing on Degobah? I actually can't remember, but there definitely weren't any cranes or suction pumps there.
6. Chancellor's Signal?
Grievous' ship is capable of specifically identifying life forms. As you will recall, the bridge is capable of tracking the Jedi and placing a ray shield around them. I don't see it being unrealistic for R2 to tap into the same sensor system and locate the Chancellor's life "signal".
7. R2 Cell Phone
There is no logical explanation for this aside from providing humour. And as I witnessed in the movie theatre three times, the majority of people laughed at this scene. Thus, George Lucas' objective of the scene was accomplished.
8. Droid I.Q.
I recently viewed the script of ROTS and found this:
SUPER BATTLE DROID 1: What's that?
SUPER BATTLE DROID 2: Get back to work. It's nothing.
And yes, droids do makes stupid decisions. That is probably why Palpatine chose to make a clone army rather than a droid army.
9. General Grievous
Nearly any possible potential fear of Grievous is eliminated as soon as he doubles over to begin hacking and wheezing.
He had his chest crushed! I'm sure anybody, bad guy or good guy, would show some sign of physical weakness after being fatally injured.
To further weaken Grievous's character, he is a tremendous coward
How is he a coward? Do you call an individual who risks his life to sneak into the most heavily guarded place in the galaxy to kidnap the most important man in the galaxy a coward? Grievous has legitimate reasons (ie. certain death) for running away. He is injured and needs time to recover.
Using the same type of logic, we must now classify Luke as a coward for refusing to attack Vader with his left fist and feet in Cloud City after getting his right hand sliced off.
The problem is we don't see Grievous at 100% in the ROTS.
It is also worthy of noting how bizarre it is that Grievous coughs as much as he does, considering he doesn't appear to have any lungs.
Although it is not apparent, evidentally he does have lungs.
10. R2-D2 Kicks Ass
Personally, I don't like R2's antics or new abilities. However, since Lucas introduced new abilities for R2 in AOTC it would be another contradiction for him to suddenly eliminate them. Again, these scenes are just meant to get a laugh out of people. Most people laughed in the theatre laughed at this, so evidentally Lucas accomplished his objective.
This post has been edited by Storm: 06 June 2005 - 06:01 PM