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Zero Punctuation on Encyclopedia Dramatica

Congratulations, Yahtzee. You have an article about you on one of the most hated websites on the internet.

The last Elder Scrolls related thread sank, and I've been playing a lot of Morrowind lately, so let's discuss the games. First of all, I love these games because they are the few games where you can experience freedom. You can steal from anyone. You can kill anyone (except in Oblivion.) You can do nearly anything you want. You don't feel like doing the main quest? Don't do it. Want to keep playing after you finally beat the main quest? Go right ahead. Also the graphics in Oblivion are simply outstanding. I don't think I've seen grass and trees look better in any game.

Also, I'd like to talk about some of the annoyances in Oblivion and Morrowind. I really like them both, but there's things in them that bother me. First of all, in Morrowind, the combat is really bad. Basically you stand directly in front of your enemy and tap the attack button until one of you dies, and if your agility is low, except to hear an annoying WOOSH sound randomly which signifies that you missed, despite swinging a sword directly at your enemy who is standing perfectly still. They also took out the fast travel feature from Daggerfall, which normally wouldn't be so bad, except you slowly lose fatigue when you run, and eventually when it goes to zero, you run very slowly. The sneaking system was very bad too; people would see you for no reason. Also, a lot of the faces/hairstyles in the character creation part look stupid.

Thankfully, they fixed these problems in Oblivion, but they also decided to remove a lot of stuff. You can't levitate anymore. There's no crossbows, spears, or throwing weapons. You can't simply stroll in and out of towns anymore; you have to go through a gate and a loading screen. And there's lots of bugs. A lot of quests can become unbeatable because of certain bugs. Fortunately, some of the bugs are cool, especially the duplication glitch. One of my main problems with Oblivion is the dungeon you start in. It takes too damn long to go through it all. They should have given you an option to skip the whole tutorial part and get out there. Of course the worst part of Oblivion is the leveling system. At low levels you can only buy shitty armor and you can only fight weak creatures and you are limited to how many times you can train, so leveling up is a slow process. I don't like being forced to play the game at a certain pace; I want to level up as fast as I want. Also, despite having gorgeous graphics, the water looks kinda funky.

http:// www.gametrail...ies/180345. html

According to everything I've heard, this film adaption of Agent 47's murderous antics sucks out loud. I had my major doubts when I got a good look at the actor who was to be portraying this ruthless killer;



. ..What the fuck? He doesn't even remotely resemble 47. The younger brother from American History X looks more like 47 than he does. They could have at least gotten the guy from the Transporter.

Has anyone seen this film?

Sorry about that smoking thread. I just wanted to have a discussion, I didn't mean to create a big flame war. I hope nobody is really pissed off at each other.

Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go blow cigarette smoke in the faces of infants and give them cancer.