[Jane Sherwood]

It doesn't help matters that he is a pirate, and so their love can never be while the long and bitter feud of Pirates vs. Ninjas continues. Being forced to live this romantic cliché of star-crossed lovers makes him become very hostile over any sort of allusion to West Side Story or...that other one (), and leads him to random bouts of emo-ness and melodramatic cutting.

...Which then sets off the hemophobia.

This post has been edited by Jane Sherwood: 23 March 2007 - 12:15 PM

[Gobbler]

*hands Miss Sherwood a medal for sheer awesomeness*

[Slade]

Finally, I'm back. Sorry for the brevity of these images, but we're at a decision point, and I don't want to do too much.

Rock! Can he be a hacker?

Our science skill will help with that.

this of course, had a detrimental impact on him throughout the years of his youth and today it causes him to have frequent, sporatic hellish flashbacks of it.

when these flashbacks occur, he lashes out feverishly at all who oppose him and pretty much annihilates any who dare stand in his path.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, I like it.

Ninja, pirate stuff, etc...

He's definitely pissed off about West Side Story, but he's not going to go emo. No way in hell. And if he's hemophobic, then we'd never get anywhere, and you would get bored after the fifth time he passed out in ten minutes of the game.

And he has to be Swedish with the "spot transvestite" feat. This will come in handy, trust me.

We're out of feat points, but I'll keep my eyes opened when we level up!

Anyway, so we've created our character, and before we even get to do anything, we're forced to talk to our elder.

She says the same stuff I told you all about, the GECK, the crops and animals dying, etc. Then she throws Durf a curve ball and say that he is the "chosen one", though it's beyond me why anyone would choose a stinky pimp as the savior of their village, and he needs to prove his worth. Before he can protest, he's taken to the outskirts of the proving grounds, a temple containing remnants of the past.

Can you spear your entire home village? Try that.

Well, we can try, I suppose, but that dude with a spear is blocking our path. He seems friendly, but kinda dumb. We could maybe talk to him or something. A quick inventory check reveals that Durf also has a spear. If there aren't any objections, we could try to get back to the village to spear everyone, or spear this dude, or engage in fisticuffs, or what have you.

what should Durf do next, Nightlife?

[Icey]

Convince the villager, that he needs to escort you through the temple-majig, serving as both a human shield/body guard. Use the logic that the chosen one should not become tainted by bruises and scars, and everytime he refuses, threaten him with the pimp slap, saying that a pimp's love is a different kind of love, and a very beautiful kind of thing.

Then offer him to have sex with one of your hoes as a reward. If that fails, break your spear in half, get some crimson mud, and make it appear that he's speared you through the abdomen, pimp slap him and run into the village, claiming that he's gone mad. After everyone has calmed down, you can break the spear off, and thus "creating a miracle" by being totally unscathed by being impaled. This will strike much fear and respect into their hearts.

[sesame_street_hustler]

there is an untold legend of a sacred orb that has been hidden upon this land. no one knows where this orb is kept, but the legend reigns strong and belief that one day a "chosen one" will rise amongst the ranks and bring forth the sacred orb.

our pimpness knows of this legend and uses it to his advantage to coerce the fierce spear-weilding warrior to join him alongside, to begin a mutual quest in search of the mystical orb.

durf also states that the other villager warriors are in dire search of this orb as well. a mad dash to retrieve the orb engulfs the land, as according to legend,.the apocolypse is nearing and the ones in possession of the sacred orb will not be forsaken.

[Icey]

Do some more Slade or I'll cry and kill a kitten. For real!

[Jane Sherwood]

SAVE THE KITTEN!

[Slade]

OH SHI-

I'll do more tomorrow. Just put the kitten down, Icey!

[Spoon Poetic]

I'm stuck at home for a week with little to do; I can help you for a while if you need it, Slade.

[Otal Nimrodi]

Durf should attack Icey and make him drop the kitten.

[Icey]

I got kitty's head in my mouth, RIGHT NOW! I give you six hours to post, or I'll EAT IT!

[Slade]

Convince the villager, that he needs to escort you through the temple-majig, serving as both a human shield/body guard.

I tried that, but this guy is about as intelligent as a post. Our 9 int score means that we use words like "erudite" and "sophisticated", and he can barely understand us. He also doesn't want to go near Durf because he's so smelly and only slightly more charismatic than the rock he's standing by.


Wait a minute. What's that noise?!

Do some more Slade or I'll cry and kill a kitten. For real!

YOU MONSTER!!!

SAVE THE KITTEN!!!

Durf should attack Icey and make him drop the kitten.

I agree. It's fuggin' GO TIME.


Aww CRAP. "Icey hits you for 10 damage, bypassing your armor and knocking you to the ground."

At least he took off his shoes first.

I'm stuck at home for a week with little to do; I can help you for a while if you need it, Slade.

Aww man, Spoon. It's a good thing you're here. I don't know what you look like, so I'm kinda winging it. Thanks for giving Durf some time to get up, and nice right hook!

[Spoon Poetic]

Ha, ha, ha.

[Icey]

That's it! The pants are off, BERZERKER TIME! I'm taking this temple trial thing by myself!

[Otal Nimrodi]

Durf, quickly! Point in the other direction and run away from Icey!