And again, I don't think of those films were made with the idea that you'd draw in people who didn't see the first film or didn't like it. I think expanded box offixe is expected by getting all the people who saw the first one to come in, which usually expands once you include original theater run and video sales. Anything else is just going to be cake due to good reviews and/or word of mouth. But I highly doubt anyone banks on making a film with the idea, "oh yeah, NOW we'll get all the people who hated the first one!" That just doesn't make any sense.
Some of what you're saying makes sense. If you hated the original, you'd skip the sequel, yes.
The rest is non-sequiter and ignores Jordan's personal experience, as well as common sense. NO MOVIE STUDIO EVER would make a sequel to any film, no matter how successful it was, if all they could tell the investors was that they hoped that it would attract the exact same audience that the first one attracted. There is ALWAYS some expectation that the advertising for the first one will interest folks in watching the original one before rushing off to the sequel. This is even true of remakes. Notice how the original KING KONG was released on DVD while the remake was was in the theatres? It may be madness, yes, but there is some method in it.
Anyway, none of this has anything to do with my comment, which was that the review basically said you'll like CLERKS II if you already like it before seeing it; that is, if you meet it more than halfway. I did NOT suggest that everyone who liked CLERKS would like CLERKS II. That would be a prediction of oberwhelming success, which I am not making. True, most of the people seeing it will be fans of the original film, but I've attended loads of sequels where in the quiet before the trailers I heard some dude explaining to his date what had happened in the original. So yeah, there are folks who will see a sequel without having seen the original. Also, most of the people who liked the first one, and then see the sequel, will offer a lackluster review, just like the one in the Onion. Because, dude, this sequel just has to suck.