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To Ferris Weil-
I would love to give you a full detailed opinion on your concept idea {my wife is 6 months pregnant and I have to take her for her sonogram in a few minutes} But I just have to give you some tidbits.
I appreciate feedback, so this will prove helpful, even if what I'm doing is just a hobby.
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Pretty impressive, Ferris Weil. Lucas should hire you to screenwrite Episode III.
I am such a poor judge of sarcasm, but I believe you're being sincere as you were pretty straightforward about my version of EpI. So, thank you.
Actually, though, I'm afraid without any prior experience I'd be so baffled by the finer points of interpersonals/character dev and dialogue that my version would turn out just as poorly. Then again, perhaps I should try to write an actual script before I dismiss myself.
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Are you Timothy Zahn in real life
?
No, I wish. When I was a kid I wanted to be a sci-fi writer and I actually tried to pen my own Thrawn prequel story because I thought the character was so brilliant. As a matter of fact, I liked him better than the regular cast.
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Your idea sounds a lot like one of Timothy Zahn's Star Wars novels in tone and complexity. While I thought Timothy Zahn's trilogy sequel was good, it lacked the fantasy and emotional core that is so essential to Star Wars. Zahn's novels are a "Tom Clancy"-fication of the Star Wars novel. They concentrateon the war conflict and the strategies and politics behind the war. The Jedi elements and the personal development are secondary. Sort of what your concept idea is. {Which is not a bad thing, just not my preference} Read Dark Force Rising by Timothy Zahn and compare it to "The Courtship of Princess Leia" (I forget the author} to see what I mean.
Dave Wolverton. That's funny, because before I read Zahn I was under the impression that Star Wars was over but afterward it re-ignited my interest in the series. It still stands in my opinion as the best trilogy and having the most interesting new characters.
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By all means.
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1. Your new character of Admiral Gormas. What two failures by Vader? The first death Star? That was more Moff Tarkins fault. Vader apparently was given more power in ESB since he is now controlling the Imperial Fleet. He finds the rebel hideout when Admiral Ozzel doesn't. He kills Ozzel and puts a better admiral in Piett in charge. Plus he destroys the rebel base and sets the rebellion back in progress. Why wouldn't the Emperor be pleased at Vader?
The failures of Vader: (I'm looking at these from the perspective of the Emperor, and not from the long-range perspective of the present audience)
1. Incapable of destroying the Rebels on Hoth: We're talking fish in a barrel, here. He had a good, solid military force and he was intricately involved in the management of the Admirals aboard the individual ships. He didn't delegate authority properly and as a result suffered a loss. Setbacks are never enough for the Rebellion, they have a habit of rebuilding. Instead of a simple clean sweep operation, they had to waste resources and time and ultimately, it would cost them.
2. Failure to recover Luke Skywalker: This was a task directly assigned by the Emperor, if Vader couldn't even bring back a simple farmboy then there were bigger problems.
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And why be impressed with some new Admiral we've never seen until now. Especially when two imperial Admirals failed so miserably. I can't see the Emperor even considering a non-Sith to share Vader's power or to be his right hand man.
Plus, you now have to introduce Admiral Gormas as a charcter and show why he is in favor with the emperor. Charcter development of a minor character. Might take away some valuable screen time that will be needed for other things. {see my "Unnecessary Characters " post on this forum}
Well, this was something I left out. The opening sequence would involve a Star Destroyer cruising along by itself and out of nowhere three wings of X-Wings, Y-Wings and A-Wings accompanied by two Rebel capital ships would attack. The interior of the ship would show that claxons were going off, and general chaotic business was occurring, but the Admiral would be calm and collected. Most attention would turn to him, he would nod, murmur a few things to an aide who would disappear, issue three or four commands and the tide of the space battle would turn dramatically after a small wing of TIEs was released from the underbelly of the Destroyer. The overcoming of these overwhelming odds would be a "show don't tell" situation that would prove he was no ordinary foe for the Alliance.
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I would say that the Gormas character and the power struggle while interesting, is really not that vital to the story. Your probably best, simply leaving out the Gormas character or simply reducing his importance. {Besides, I think this power struggle idea was covered in the book "Shadows of the Empire" the intermediary between ESB and ROTJ}
In a way, you're right. I thought it would prove an interesting subplot, but it may just be too much anyway. At this point Vader should be pretty well consumed with tracking Skywalker and Palpy should be more interested in keeping tabs on Vader and his potential for treachery. So, you're right. Thank God for editing.
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2. Jabba the Hut as a an ordinary human. I hate this idea on so many levels. Making Jabba the Hut human is kinda of like making Darth Vader into a handsome englishman in dark clothing and a sinister voice. Or like making Yoda into full sized old man in white robes. You see where I am going with this? Your concept of Jabba the Hutt lacks imagination, and is wasted opportunity for special effects. If your going to use this concept of Jabba the Hutt at least make him look like an alien {maybe a serpent like guy with a human torso and snake like tail}. Anything but a regular human.
Hmm. I don't know. I like Jabba as a human. I don't think that he needs to be an alien to appear threatening and I thought the slug was plain silly. I am looking at this from the perspective of making a film in 1983, too. Perhaps just a creepy looking human, or maybe even a distinguished looking older gentleman - or even maybe Vincent Price to keep with Lucas' idea in the first film with Peter Cushing. By the way, the whole "bonk on the head" thing I decided to toss out a while ago, but didn't remove it from the outline.
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Also, remember Jabba the Hutt's name had been passing around the first two movies like a spector. Who was this man that Han feared? The man who was so obsessed with killing Han, that he was willing to send a bounty hunter to kill him on Ord Mantell. We are all expecting a dramatic introduction to this character. Your concept doesn't provide us with that. ROTJ IMO, did a good job of showing and given us a dramatic and consistant portrait of who Jabba was. The portrait of Jabba by the way is very true of gangsters. The Mob is not ruled by active enforcers, but instead by older, out of shape men who have the authority and control to kill people. The don't move because they don't have to they have enough authority over assasins to be feared on their own {Remember Paul Sorvino's character in Goodfellas. Not really an active guy is he? Would you spit in his face though? I would think not} Jabba is a crime lord, NOT an enforcer!!!
Yeah, but just because somebody is infamous, it doesn't mean he is inherently evil. I mean, looking at Jabba's history, he obviously was close with Han. And I think he had a right to be pissed off and send hunters after Han when the smuggler failed to settle his debts after 3 years. I agree that he shouldn't be too active by any stretch, just powerful and quiet. But with a good sense of humor.
There is plenty more I will post later.
I hope so.
Still a good idea, Ferris.
Thanks. That means quite a bit.
--FW