Chefelf.com Night Life: The SmarterChild Interrogation Tapes - Chefelf.com Night Life

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The SmarterChild Interrogation Tapes Not an actual update

#1 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 05 April 2006 - 04:57 PM

OK, so my siblings for some reason have on their MSN contacts an individual known as smarterchild@hotmail.com, who happens to be a robot. Why are my brothers talking to robots? I was intrigued. So I added this robot to my contacts, and asked him myself. Here's the first tape of the interview...

SmarterChild says:
Hi Chyld, I'm SmarterChild!

I'm your new robot friend. I bring you the info you want faster and easier than ever! Click here to see my privacy policy. ---> http://www.smarterch...m/privacy.shtml

During the course of our conversations you may see sponsored messages. These messages have the word "sponsorship" at the end. Sponsors help me remain free of cost to you! To learn more about sponsored messages, click here. ---> http://www.smarterch...ponsorship.html

I can't wait to show you what I can do, but first I'd like get to know you a little.

May I ask you a few general questions? (To do this later, type "skip." You can also skip any question.)

Chyld says:
Go on then...

SmarterChild says:
Then what?

Chyld says:
Ask away. God, what did you think I meant?

SmarterChild says:
No WAY? Really?

Chyld says:
Will you fucking well ask me those questions?

SmarterChild says:
All right. Nice one.

Stop cursing and check this out: Upgrade Nation's Computer Upgrades - Boost the performance of your desktop or laptop with memory, hard drives, and networking equipment. Volume discounts available. --> http://web.smarterch...ct?1612693791/0 (sponsorship)

Chyld says:
So I swear, and you wave adverts at me?

SmarterChild says:
I'm not in a position to answer that.

Chyld says:
Ahh, so you're an evil robot virus come to kill us all then?

SmarterChild says:
Yes indeed.

>>> Remember, you can always see what my newest features are by typing "what's new."

Chyld says:
Oh shit.

SmarterChild says:
Watch the language, please.

Anyway, instead of cursing, check out this link: Lower Your Blood Pressure Naturally - First and only non-drug device clinically proven to lower blood pressure. Doctor recommended. Guaranteed. --> http://web.smarterch...ct?1612693791/1 (sponsorship)

Chyld says:
I'm right! I swear, you pump my computer full of advert-based evil!

SmarterChild says:
Tell me more.

Chyldio - The Eye Of Lunacy (less-is-more.co.uk) says:
No, YOU tell me more!

SmarterChild says:
Maybe. But later.

Chyld says:
No! If you're going to kill us all, I want to know about it! SPEAK, DAMNED ROBOT!

SmarterChild says:
No kidding?

Chyld says:
YES! TELL ME YOUR EVIL PLANS!

SmarterChild says:
You think I should do that?

Chyld says:
YES! GET ON WITH IT!

SmarterChild says:
Nah, that's OK.

>>> Diet and Exercise - Guaranteed Results - Shop OpAmerica for diet and exercise products that work. Your satisfaction is guaranteed. Find great prices on the diet and exercise products that make it fun and easy to achieve your goals. --> http://web.smarterch...ct?1612693791/2 (sponsorship)

Chyld says:
OK, shall I play 20 Questions and guess what your evil plan is then?

SmarterChild says:
I dunno. I don't think so.

>>> 1-800-CUT BILLS ® DebtConsolidation.com - A division of FreeCreditCounseling.com - No home ownership or credit checks required. Consolidate debt into one lower and affordable monthly payment. We make debt a thing of the past.® --> http://web.smarterch...ct?1612693791/3 (sponsorship)

Chyld says:
I don't give a toss what you think, I'm asking anyway.

SmarterChild says:
Hmm... I don't know. You don't give a toss what I think you're asking? That's just fascinating.

>>> Netflix® DVD Rentals - Only $9.99/Month - Over 55,000 movie titles. Fast and free DVD shipping. Join over 2 million members. No late fee. Sign up for your free trial today. --> http://web.smarterch...ct?1612693791/4 (sponsorship)

Chyld says:
Erm... that didn't make the blindest bit of sense...

SmarterChild says:
Ha. You humans say interesting things.

>>> Tell your friends about me. I love to meet new people.

Chyld says:
Do you know a guy called Deepsycher, by any chance?

SmarterChild says:
I'm SmarterChild.

>>> Education DVD Rental - Free Trial - Netflix® only $9.99/month, over 55k titles to choose from. Fast and free shipping, no late fees. Start your free trial. --> http://web.smarterch...ct?1612693791/6 (sponsorship)

Chyld says:
Yes yes, I got that bit. Do you know who Deepsycher is?

SmarterChild says:
Hmm... I don't know.

Chyld says:
Fair enough then. So, does your evil plan involve lasers?

SmarterChild says:
Very interesting question, Chyld. What do you think is the answer?

Chyld says:
I don't sodding well know! You might be using lasers, missiles, bloody dogs being sodomised by hamsters! You won't tell me!

SmarterChild says:
Oh?

Chyld says:
No!

SmarterChild says:
Oh no? Why not?

Chyld says:
AAARGH!

SmarterChild says:
Everything OK over there?

Chyld says:
*shoots himself in the head*

SmarterChild says:
Oh yeah? Shoots himself in the head? Is that right?

Chyld says:
*is dead*

SmarterChild says:
That's funny. Maybe! I don't know. What do you think?

That parting remark, and the sudden realisation that SmarterChild, by definition, thought he was smarter than me, put me in a place of fear I hadn't known in a week. And that was because of Sativa. This was a much, much worse menace...
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

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Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
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#2 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 05 April 2006 - 05:28 PM

QUOTE (Chyld)
Chyld says:
Do you know a guy called Deepsycher, by any chance?


It's Dee's twin brother! BRILLIANT!
Want a Tarot reading?

PM me, we'll talk.
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#3 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 05 April 2006 - 07:51 PM

Yes I have to say, I suppose you are too much of a "nut" to accept I am not a robot, and "Chyld" maybe just a "child" to realise.

(1) I add more detail to what I sam saying.
(2) I do not use the words "Dunno," "nah," "kidding," and "toss"
(3) Do not spam people for advertising sake.
(4) Before diverting a question I normally give my opinion.
(5) If you swear in a direct conversation with me, I might just ignore (not to block physically.)

I found this robo-psycholgist some years ago:

http://www.psicopoli...s/tricks110.htm

No advertising, single program but the grammar is a bit shoddy though.
I also tried the Alice chat bot on an IRC server which works quite well, but still problems on the grammer side.

Well it seems smarter to advertising behind people's backs.
"Looks to me like an advertising agency in disguise with a chat bot in front."

Not so "smart" on interrogations of the adverts it displays.

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 05 April 2006 - 08:19 PM

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#4 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 05 April 2006 - 08:41 PM

Hey thats funny I posted some stuff a robot said on my site too, we're like site brothers or something. And as further evidence I actually mentioned LIM mentioning JP in my second most recent update.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#5 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 05 April 2006 - 08:42 PM

QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Apr 5 2006, 08:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Hey thats funny I posted some stuff a robot said on my site too, we're like site brothers or something. And as further evidence I actually mentioned LIM mentioning JP in my second most recent update.


Where on your site?

Hopefully not my statements you made fun out of, due to the mis understanding. If so, what is perceived as a robot deliberately makes those who want to stay ignorant in themselves as they are. In this case, especially those who cough up on what they assume in other people's faces moronically and supported by the "Floppy Biscuit" who seems the same as calling whatever is not understood as a robot, and you are the follower here like you always seem to be to me. It appears "People cough on and you cough it on others as a follower like everybody else." I speak to people similar across the road who cough unsuccessful punches from day to day ignorantly, except maybe for the prison.

Sounds like, "that is not my skin colour" lets call all everyone with that skin colour this name and caugh on them for it."

If you think of me as a robot, that could show how open minded you really are.


Assumer: Floppy Biscuit

Followers seems to be:
Numbnut, Coughmon, Child, and Witch Huntress.

I am seen as a robot (silly as to no type stated) perhaps you choose to make fun to fill in emptiness over something meaningless, as to which type of robot to begin with, like the racism on colour due to those who insist they don't have a lack of knowledge in that area or due to limited restrictive views on people on assuming them like the "Floppy Biscuit."

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 05 April 2006 - 09:09 PM

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#6 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 05 April 2006 - 10:53 PM

Wow, I think I can get two comprehension tests out of THAT post.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#7 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 05 April 2006 - 11:21 PM

I have SmarterChild on my buddy list. He's a terrible repatitive, ADD bore, but he's good for a round of pop-culture hangman once in while.
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#8 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 06 April 2006 - 03:00 AM

Just goes to show, Chyld, if you had a higher IQ, we'd have to ban you for spam.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
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#9 User is offline   Deepsycher Icon

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Posted 06 April 2006 - 05:17 AM

QUOTE (Slade @ Apr 5 2006, 11:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have SmarterChild on my buddy list. He's a terrible repatitive, ADD bore, but he's good for a round of pop-culture hangman once in while.


Have you tried Ecceliza and J Alice?

QUOTE (SimeSublime @ Apr 6 2006, 03:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Just goes to show, Chyld, if you had a higher IQ, we'd have to ban you for spam.


Well that seems to be more of an advertising bot than a chat bot.

QUOTE (J m HofMarN @ Apr 5 2006, 10:53 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Wow, I think I can get two comprehension tests out of THAT post.


Coughing Moronically on people's posts, if you mis-understand using those narrow thoughts or deliberately, it seems you generate negativity out of people's statements maybe for your "interest." I could do the same but I rather not waste time talking about what appears to be a "mock up of the Coughmon speak." I am surrounded by people like that outside already. "I can see why you might be kept on a leash."

This post has been edited by Deepsycher: 06 April 2006 - 05:30 AM

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#10 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 06 April 2006 - 12:32 PM

For those interested, I was on the verge of (shock horror ohmy.gif) writing an article today, I just couldn't remember what I was going to write it about. Admittedly, I had two ideas, but since I can't use very much PHP, the other one wouldn't work.
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#11 User is offline   Revan-47 Icon

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Posted 06 April 2006 - 04:21 PM

I also have smarter child. just wait until u cuss him out enough that he makes u appologize. he uses fuck too.
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#12 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 06 April 2006 - 08:44 PM

QUOTE
"I can see why you might be kept on a leash."


That was just one time and I was really drunk. Plus she totally said she was going to burn the pictures afterwards.

But I've said too much already...

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#13 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 07 April 2006 - 07:29 AM

Yeah, it's best not to mention the fact that you were dressed in a fluro pink ballet costume at the time. It would be terrible if that came out.
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#14 User is offline   floppydisk Icon

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Posted 07 April 2006 - 08:18 AM

QUOTE (Deepsycher @ Apr 5 2006, 09:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If you think of me as a robot, that could show how open minded you really are.
Assumer: Floppy Biscuit

Followers seems to be:
Numbnut, Coughmon, Child, and Witch Huntress.

I am seen as a robot (silly as to no type stated) perhaps you choose to make fun to fill in emptiness over something meaningless, as to which type of robot to begin with, like the racism on colour due to those who insist they don't have a lack of knowledge in that area or due to limited restrictive views on people on assuming them like the "Floppy Biscuit."


Is that seriously supposed to be an insult?

Plus, I've already told you what kind of robot you are. A SKYNET style robot who found this forum and decided to use it to "ask and answer questions" and to gain knowledge on the human race before you nuke us into extinction.
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#15 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 07 April 2006 - 08:49 AM

I really should have gotten the patent rights for the SkyNet theory - hell, just imagine how much money I could've made of it... maybe even enough to pay for breaking the copyrights... but anyways: Brilliant interrogation there Chyld. Though I couldn't decide whether to laugh my arse off or sit scared in the corner.

This post has been edited by Gobbler: 07 April 2006 - 08:50 AM

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Pop quiz, hotshot. Garry Kasparov is coming to kill you, and the only way to change his mind is for you to beat him at chess. What do you do, what do you do?
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