[civilian_number_two]

Melkor, you should dump her. Four years? That's nuts. This is probably sopmeone who takes sex too seriously, and if you ever manage to pressure her intop a pre-marital thing, it's gonna make her cry (reasonably), and you're gonna feel like an asshole (also reasonably).

I guess anyone who wants to save their virginity should do so, but this concern that it's not something you can get back is overplayed. You can't get back the first time you drank red wine and looked at a sunset either, but so what? So you're never going to do it, out of concern that the first time conditions need to be perfect? Some things are worth doing more than once, so the first time shouldn't matter than much. Making too big a deal out of it is going to diminish the experience anyway.

Yeah, yeah, sounds like I'm saying sex is no big deal, like I'm some 70's-era swinger, but that's not the case. I know it clutters up the mind with committments, and relationships change once that starts, so it shouldn't be entered into lightly. I haven't been involved with too many women, and just about every time it was serious. But I don't think the reason for ever holding off on sex if you want to do it should be that you'll never have your first time ever again, or that you feel doing it will make you less pure.

So if you're dating someone who takes it far more seriously than you do, well, date someone else.

This post has been edited by civilian_number_two: 28 May 2005 - 02:00 PM

[Jane Sherwood]

Jane Sherwood, do you have a boyfriend you love? Does he share your point of view?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No, I don't have a boyfriend. In fact, I'm not even seeking one out. It's just never been a high priority for me. It'll happen when it happens, until then, or the time comes where I'm confident enough to test the waters, I've got my own agenda.

...Honestly, I think the reason it's so easy is just because I've never been highly sexed in the first place. It's one of the last things on my mind.

[Jordan]

I think the only way to remain chaste is to marry at 20 years of age. I'm not so sure it's healthy to take it far into your 20's. I know a few virgin males.

Ok, I know one. He's inverted and weird. He's been to thailand twice. We think he had sex with hookers there, but we can't say for sure. But what we do know is that being chaste (in his case he's just shy) can really fuck you up after awhile.

It's actually pretty funny because the dude is so cold bust for hardcore spanky. Everybody knows it.

[civilian_number_two]

It's actually pretty funny because the dude is so cold bust for hardcore spanky.  Everybody knows it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Holy cow. the other day, I mentioned something about Sam Kinnison, and nobody was talking to knew who he was. Now this thing: "cold bust for hardcore spanky." I only have a vague sense of what you mean there.

I feel this generation gap thing, and I am only 36.

PS: On topic, Jane, it sounds like either you have some trust issues with the men you have known, or you just aren't interested in sex. Not everyone is.

PPS: I know, mind my own business.

[Slade]

Jordan, do you mean introverted and wierd? As in, not a big fan of people, enjoys doing solitary things more than talking to everyone he is forced to meet? I'm introverted and wierd, and rather shy too. I'll probably be unwillingly chaste and relationship free my whole life.

"It's actually pretty funny because the dude is so cold bust for hardcore spanky. Everybody knows it." What the hell does that mean, mang?

[Jane Sherwood]

He either loves or hates masturbation, or loves or hates spanking, from my guess.

And Civilian...both, really. But there's also the fact that the whole idea of doing that disturbs me deeply for some reason.

This post has been edited by Jane Sherwood: 29 May 2005 - 01:20 AM

[Icey]

I did have the attitute "I'm going to be celibate untill I get married!" and then an ex cheated on my with a bloke ten years older than her.

I have regained much off the essence of that attitute as of late. I was too late realizing how much sex means, atleast to me. So I have great respect for Jane's and JM's attitute to sex. Without strong emotional bonds, you could just as well just use your hand.

[Madam Corvax]

LM, and may I enquire why exactly are you asking? Do you have problem with your girlfriend not wanting sex before marriage? Because if you do, then I am sorry to be a spoilsport, but odds are you also have other issues concerning religion that you might not agree upon. In which case, it will require a lot of tolerance in your relationship for it to last.

Because in this particular case, as LM is Polish I strongly believe the girl not wanting sex before marriage is PURELY matter of Catholic brainwashing from an early age. Correct me if I am wrong.

[Lord Melkor]

Hmm, Madam Corvax it is a bit complicated actually, she is a very wise person, definately not a blind sheep like others.

For example, she is in favor of homosexual pairs adopting children, not typical for Polish Catholic, isn`t it? But she accepts the key teachings of Church, her argument is that they they never failed her, and she finds happiness, calmness, in prayer and religious practices.

I actually really like the Christian morality, and I think my beloved is a good positive example of it, but i do not believe in the mandate of Church.

This post has been edited by Lord Melkor: 29 May 2005 - 11:48 AM

[Madam Corvax]

I don't know about adopting children by homosexuals, at least not in Poland. BUt if we consider it from a point of view that children should benefit from this, then it being adopted by homosexual pair is better than a state owned orphanage.

But but but... does she approve of HOMOSEXUAL COUPLES in the first place?? The teaching of CC in these matter is it is ok to be homosexual as long as you do nothing about it, so to speak...

And sorry to be a bit blunt... but if she accepts the CC stand on contraception, have you considered the consequences of it to your future family? Will you be prepared to support the children no matter how many will arrive? This is also the stand of CC - it is ok to have sex in marriage as long as you are prepared every time you do it to have babies. I think this is even more frightening and stresfull than not wanting to practise oral sex... or any sex at all.

Sorry.. you don't have to answer at all. These are just my musings...

[Lord Melkor]

Well, she says that natural methods are reliable enough if there is discipline.

[Madam Corvax]

Bu ha ha ha ha ha ha!

She says because she knows.... or has been told in religious education classes by old maids or priests who never had to worry about these things? And you say she is wise and has not been brainwashed....

But it does not really matter. What matters is are you prepared to be disciplined? Well if you are, then that's fine, by all means go for it. Go and see for yourself.

[Lord Melkor]

Bu ha ha ha ha ha ha!

She says because she knows.... or has been told in religious education classes by old maids or priests who never had to worry about these things? And you say she is wise and has not been brainwashed....

But it does not really matter. What matters is are you prepared to be disciplined? Well if you are, then that's fine, by all means go for it. Go and see for yourself.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well, she says it worked for her mother, why it shouldn`t for her? A bit conservative maybe, why brainwashed?

[Slade]

Coming from total lack of experience, I still say discipline sucks. Just use a condom. It's you wasting those sacred sperm, not her. Or stay in between third and home plate...

Still another alternative: Make her realize that just because some things in a relgion work doesn't mean that everything must be followed to the letter.

Blah, I don't want to get into this...

Iceman: You hit the nail on the head. If it's just about the orgasm, use your hand.

[Madam Corvax]

She says it worked for her mother? I wonder if it worked equally well for her father, though.
As I said, if it is fine for you, then go ahead. However, I suggest you ask her to describe you what exactly does this renowned "natural method" involve. If you know what it means and it's still fine by you, then, ok, I have nothing else to say. Your choice.

But to be honest, I don't know one woman who is happy about the Catholic attitude to contraception. However, I am not going to go into details, because I have a feeling that it would not mean much for people not living in Poland. I imagine this whole attitude of CC towards contraception is not acceptable anywhere else but in Poland. It would be like telling people to use abacus instead of computers because computers are against human nature.

Sometimes I have a feeling that I live in a time warp...