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Hi, Everyone! Anyone?

Many of you have reached out to me about reviewing The Force Awakens. Ultimately I couldn't get excited about reviewing that movie as, overall, I found it to be pretty enjoyable. With the release of The Last Jedi I decided to break a thirteen year silence on the Star Wars franchise and give my impressions. It's not in the "Reasons to Hate" format but it's my chronological take of my experience having seen the movie. After watching it for a second time I will admit I enjoyed it a lot more but on first watch I was left with a lot of concerns. Here's what's posted so far!

*** GET THE COMPLETE REVIEW HERE ***

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Introduction) - December 31, 2017

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 1) - January 4, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 2) - January 8, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 3) - January 10, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 4) - January 15, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 5) - January 17, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 6) - January 19, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 7) - January 22, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 8) - January 24, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 9) - January 29, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 10) - January 31, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 11) - February 2, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 12) - February 5, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 13) - February 7, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 14) - February 9, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Part 15) - February 28, 2018

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (In Conclusion) - March 7, 2018

Would love to hear some of the old veterans' thoughts!

As of now the registration of new users has been disabled. If you REALLY want to sign up send an email to carlos9 [at] Lance & Eskimo [dot] com.

There has just been way too many spam accounts being created. I don't think anyone legitimate has signed up in ages. After all, who still signs up for forums?

I upgraded to the new forum software today (mostly out of boredom) which will fix some issues we've been having (mostly on the back end).

I'll be working to make it a little more aesthetically like the former board design in the coming days.

NHL Playoff Commercial Review (Rounds 1 & 2)

With two rounds of the NHL Playoffs down and two rounds to go, I thought it fitting to recap the most important part of this sporting events: the commercials. Here are some that have caught my eye so far:

The Most Interesting Man in the World



A YouTube search for "the most interesting man in the world" will give you a good deal of outtakes, other commercials, and back story. However, nothing quite sets it up like this commercial. The most striking part of this commercial (to me) is when we see him engaged in kendo practice. I wish there was an entire movie of The Most Interesting Man In The World doing kendo. I'm always ashamed when a commercial entertains me on the level where I want to watch it a second time. The only thing that ashames me more is that if I am presented with the choice of Dos Equis on a beer menu, I will be influenced by this commercial to select it. I think that's the first time that's ever happened to me.

thePORTAL on NHL.com



This is the second most homoerotic commercial ever produced. However, it's the single most homoerotic commercial that has ever been produced without the name Lorne Michaels attached to it. (See the Schmitt's Gay Beer Commercial to see a slightly more homoerotic commercial).

I'm annoyed by the guy in this commercial. The camera view bothers me. The way this jerk claps seems chumpish. And the way he lurks around the locker room and ogles Alexander Ovechkin who is strangely poking a phalic hockey stick is flat out disturbing.

Papa John's



What could be better than ordering a greasy pizza and having it hand-delivered by the CEO of the mega-chain that manufactured it? This series of commercials explores the answers to that question by having Big Papa personally deliver pizzas to unsuspecting customers and crashing their parties. In this commercial Papa John crashes a teenagers' pizza party by infiltrating it with his camera crew and making them have to refrain from the likely underage drinking and illegal drug use that was about to occur. However, it is impressive how well Papa John can throw a football.

In another ad from this series, Papa John ruins a girl's 9th birthday party. The girl is polite enough to pretend that she's happy that this old man delivered himself along with her pizza. Papa John repays her kindness by awkwardly hitting on her during the entire commercial.

It's uncomfortable.

Pizza Hut Pasta Blindfolded Family Commercial

I couldn't find a video of this one anywhere. In this commercial, a family of four is blindfolded, taken out of their house, driven around for a while, then brought back home and told they are in a restaurant. This is all presumably done with their consent. The family is then fed Pizza Hut pasta and asked to review it. Then, much to their shock, they are told that they're actually at home and this is Pizza Hut's delivery pasta. They are shocked that they are at home even after the blindfolded walk back up their unique back steps, and into their home which has none of the characteristic sounds and smells of a restaurant, but many of the characteriestic sounds and smells of their own house.

The first time I saw this commercial I missed the setup and thought that this commercial was intentionally trying to be unbelievable because there's actually no way you would be able to fool someone using this method. I actually thought it was quite hilarious that they'd blindfolded some people in their own home and then asked them if they thought they were in a fancy restaurant. Sadly, I don't think they were going for intentional unbelievability.

My commercial would have been so much better.

Let a Stranger Drive You Home



In this commercial, a bunch of drunk assholes take a cab home because they have consumed too much Heineken. An old cab driver doesn't spend the entire cab ride talking in muffled tones on his cellphone but, instead, joins in an improptu group singing of Biz Markie's "Just a Friend."

Not likely.

I was so worried that they may change the picture in context with the story that I elected to put a screen capture in.

This guy could not be happier that the swine flu exists. I think he may have been the one that secretly engineered the swine flu in a lab. He may have also secretly engineered all Mexican stereotypes in that same lab.