The Laws of Starwars Hear ye and obey!
#1
Posted 06 May 2007 - 02:09 PM
Blockades are perfectly legal.
In the next movies, we learn that Jedi are not allowed to fight a war for people.
The Chancelor may have as many under age boys hanging out with him as he likes, and no one may ask any questions.
Only Jedi may delete information from the library computer.
Only Sith may deal in absolutes.
Any one of thousands of star systems can ask for a vote of no confidence in the chancellor provided there is even a minor disagreement about "taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems"
The Jedi Code forbids people to spy on the Sith or to watch members of the government, (excepting those with breasts?)
"Jedi Directive 44387 clearly states that any Jedi engaged in communications with a Jawa after sunset shall forfeit his Jedi membership card and lightsaber for three days and be docked a week's pay." -- Chefelf
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#2
Posted 06 May 2007 - 08:01 PM
[from 27b/22.1 section 2 of the "Bigger Fish" Act. (1999)]
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#3
Posted 06 May 2007 - 10:56 PM
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#4
Posted 07 May 2007 - 01:40 AM
it is perfectly legal for the entire order to
ignore that fact and contiune to work
along in a "buisness as usual fashion"
as long as said jedi is the chosen one
and the love interest
(this is very important) is hot
Duct tape is like the force....
There's a lightside, a darkside
and it holds everything together
There are too many people in the world...We need another plague -Dwight K. Shrute [The Office]
#6
Posted 07 May 2007 - 06:46 PM
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#7
Posted 07 May 2007 - 07:53 PM
"Jedi are encouraged to use their force powers to bring a favorable result to any game of
Dice
Cards
Roulette
Pod racing
Horse racing
Cat racing
and/or
Russian Roulette
as long as a wager is being made against a person who is ugly and/or* evil.
*The or is simply included as a formality, according to Section 24A paragraph 21 an ugly person or persons is assumed to be evil, with the exception of any using a doubled container as a name, for example
Bucket-Bucket
Can-Can
Carton-Carton
Box-Box
And any we forgot.
ADDENDUM: As of the encountering of a Gungan by the name, the name Jar-Jar shall be considered poopyheaded.
Any Jedi breaking the above stated law is subject to having their names on the "No Lame-Os" plaque on the entrance of the Jedi Council secret club-room.
This post has been edited by Otal Nimrodi: 07 May 2007 - 07:56 PM
PM me, we'll talk.
#8
Posted 07 May 2007 - 10:23 PM
If you meet someone and exchange more than three sentences, you will take with you everywhere you go. It does not matter if they are underage, petty royalty, retarded aliens, or a robot; the Jedi "lifedebt" is triggered by more than three sentences.
This obligation does not include paying any attention or respect to the relatives of the person in question.
#9
Posted 07 May 2007 - 10:29 PM
If you meet someone and exchange more than three sentences, you will take with you everywhere you go. It does not matter if they are underage, petty royalty, retarded aliens, or a robot; the Jedi "lifedebt" is triggered by more than three sentences.
This obligation does not include paying any attention or respect to the relatives of the person in question.
ADDENDUM: Two sentences qualifies you for the Emergency Diplomatic Adoption Program.
-John Carpenter's They Live
"God help us...in the future."
-Plan 9 from Outer Space
nooooo
#10
Posted 07 May 2007 - 11:38 PM
If your master asks you to train some brat he found on the streets, you're required to do it, and when said brat screws up and kills everyone you must say that it is your fault and you thought you could train him better than Yoda.
Jedi Inititiation rule 198 Line six Paragraph Antelope
If a child is too old and dangerous to be trained, he may still be trained provided he spins a star fighter around at random and says "Yippee"
All of these are fairly sensible, but I still want to know why BLOCKADING AN ENTIRE FUGGING PLANET is legal. You'd think after a thousand years of republic rule they might have made up some sort of clause that says that sort of thing is naughty and lible to get your bottom spanked.
Interestingly enough, though it is not illegal to randomly blockade a planet with an eff ton of warships, it is legal to send Jedi in to make the people enacting the blockade stop. But the blockade is still legal.
Oh, and any planet that gets invaded, the senator of that planet automaticly becomes chancelor. That's why Saddam Hussein is now president of the world.
This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 07 May 2007 - 11:53 PM
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#11
Posted 08 May 2007 - 12:10 AM
#13
Posted 08 May 2007 - 07:56 AM
When the Senate calls a special session so that a Queen can present evidence of her planet being invaded, there is no obligation for them to actually hear that evidence.
It is perfectly legal to take a nine-year-old away from his mother and 'adopt' him without any sort of formal paperwork.
It is perfectly legal to take your nine-year-old ward into a war zone with you for no good reason.
Becoming an army General requires no qualifications whatsoever, including any kind of military experience.
One from Chefelf's list: "If you don't feel like going to the Senate, you can just have your completely unqualified fool of a friend fill in for you and decide the fate of the entire Galaxy."
- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
#14
Posted 08 May 2007 - 03:26 PM
And despite being able to shoot racing speeders twisting through a course, they are unable to target the same blast points as stormtroopers, who cannot hit a human being at around ten feet.
#15
Posted 08 May 2007 - 04:59 PM
It's always safe to install a turbo laser battery to the ceiling of your hangar bay in case you need to destroy any nuclear-fusion powered diplomatic ships right there in your bay. No damage to your ship will ensue from the thermo-nuclear blast that results.
Battle-Droid tactics state they must hold captured enemy pilots in a circle right next to their bright yellow starfighters.
Capital class ships are required to leave hangar bays open so enemy starfighters can land inside the bays, without opposition, to either blow up said capital ship or rescue captive comrades.
Gungans are allowed to use their advanced technology to build intricate underwater cities, bongo-subs that can withstand the immense pressure of a planet's core and portable ray-shield generators, but can only ride duck-faced ostriches into combat using slings and catapults to throw globs of blue goop.
Geonosian bug-boys can develop the technology to build a Death Star and complex sonic blasters, but fly around wearing no pants and are required to sleep inside steam vents connected to factory assembly lines.
Protocal droid heads have circuitry connections that fit exaclty to those of Battle-Droids, hence their similar functions.
Firing a missile that releases Buzz-droids that attach to a ship's hull, saw into the hull, disable the ship's controls, and cause the pilot to crash is a more efficient, timely and cost effective way of bringing down a ship than simply firing a missile and having it blow up the ship.
Riding giant blue and yellow lizards is the preffered for stealthly traversing cities that lie in sinkholes as opposed to turbolifts or stairs.
Molten lava can only catch your legs on fire if you have them chopped off and are lying five feet from the flow, not if you are standing on both legs, riding atop a droid's head a few inches above the lava.
Sorry ... I'm sure Chelfelf and others have probably covered some of those already, but couldn't resist.