theatre walk-outs films so awful, you cant bear to watch no more
#1
Posted 14 July 2007 - 10:54 AM
have you ever fell asleep in a theatre, because the film was horrible (not because you were tired, that doesnt count)
have you ever demanded a refund at a theatre because a film was soo rotten?
this also goes for at home too,..movie rentals, movies on tv/cable/satellite, etc etc
please list the title of the movie.
as for me, a few films come to mind...
ace ventura:when nature calls
hudson hawk
billy bathgate
dreamcatcher
batman begins
dude wheres my car
critters
harry and the hendersons
things to do in denver when youre dead
Shit, Fuck, Piss: I had to say that because I can on this website. (Thanks Chef!)
QUOTE (chefelf @ Feb 23 2008, 10:30 AM)
That's what I'm here for.
#4
Posted 14 July 2007 - 06:31 PM
That film was art!
And not in the general sense that all films are art, in the sense that that film was awesome as hell!
-John Carpenter's They Live
"God help us...in the future."
-Plan 9 from Outer Space
nooooo
#5
Posted 14 July 2007 - 08:39 PM
Quote
#6
Posted 14 July 2007 - 09:10 PM
Batman Begins was a good idea, but sourly executed. The whole film was trying to have this sort of dark setting to it. The problem is, its a little bit too dark. So dark, you pratically need a halogen flashlight to see some of the characters hiding in some of the almost pitch black scenes. Dark City, anyone?
The batmobile looks hideous. Me and a friend had this same discussion when Begins came out, and his answer to my question about how the batmobile looks in Begins pretty much went something like this:
"well, do you really expect the first batmobile to really look like a suped-up corvette, like it did in Returns, or rather have it look realistic, like something Bruce Wayne actually threw together like a science experiment in the batcave?"
my answer to that is, yeah, i can see where he was trying to go with his rationale regarding the design of the batmobile. but on that same bat-token, the first batmobile shouldnt look like a late 1970's Baja Desert Dune buggy soldiered with black stainless steel plates all around it. Thats queer. The only thing that could have made this movie more queer is a dark metrosexual emo Robin to accompany Christian Bale in his suppressed suicidal tendencies.
Wow, this film has Katie Holmes. Wow. Oh boy Oh Boy Oh BOy. Katie friggin Holmes. Wowzers. Shine the Bat Signal over Gotham City, cause Katie Holmes is gonna go topless in the batcave tonight like she did in "The Gift'". What the hell, can we cast Tom Cruise in this flick to play as the Joker. Cause believe me, the performance given by the Scarecrow, was just about as stiff as,.well..a scarecrow.
Christian Bale talks in this sort of mellow, monotone voice all thorough the film. wow, kickass..you rock dude. Can you pass the bat bong when youre done with it, cause whatever youre so pissed off about, I want to know. Youre probably pissed that your Batmoble looks like a shoddy Dragstrip car. Hey, Id be pissed too. Hopefully, if theres a sequel, they can fix that abnormality. Maybe even get a better director in the batcave.
Shit, Fuck, Piss: I had to say that because I can on this website. (Thanks Chef!)
QUOTE (chefelf @ Feb 23 2008, 10:30 AM)
That's what I'm here for.
#7
Posted 14 July 2007 - 10:09 PM
Oh, and no Katie Holmes in The Dark Knight: what a shame!
This post has been edited by Bond: 14 July 2007 - 10:11 PM
#8
Posted 16 July 2007 - 03:32 AM
for the Dark Knight has permanently
blinded me to the salt all you haters be throwin'
furthermore i have never walked out
of a movie but i came disgustingly
close in Miami Vice. In fact i almost
wish i had just to erase the harmful feelings
i now have towards Jamie Foxx and Colin Ferrel.
It was just a huge disappointment
and i stuck by Colin through Daredevil AND Alexander
(the jurys still out on The New World)
but no more! he has some serious work to do
to get back on my good side
Duct tape is like the force....
There's a lightside, a darkside
and it holds everything together
There are too many people in the world...We need another plague -Dwight K. Shrute [The Office]
#9
Posted 16 July 2007 - 04:44 PM
Your argument boils down to:
-A dislike of Katie Holmes
-apparently poor lighting of the projector in the theater you watched the film in (I've never had a problem distinguishing anything in the movie)
-poor choice of the batmobile's first draft (I freely admit a giant tank-thing with rocket boosters is a bit over the top)
-Christian Bale's acting somehow making him appear stoned
-Cillian Murphy's performance as the Scarcrow I guess just didn't contain enough insane psychiatrist vibe?
-Oh, and the thrust of the argument, it's just "queer".
You might as well complain that Ra's al Ghul wasn't a 500 year old mystic who revives himself in a magic pit and wants to take over the whole world, the way you were going. I think you could do much better in critiquing the film.
The fact that Holmes as a love interest was 95% extraneous to the plot, typical cliché predictable hollywood one-liners and plot elements (how if they mention something, it's either very important to the plot, or never mentioned ever again, and how the protagonist always turns a phrase the antagonist used earlier in the film against him/her), and the fact that the movie ends with complete chaos in most of the streets and Gotham City's railway ruined and the water supply contaminated and also ruined, and that's all brushed aside to make way for the reference to the Joker showing up in the next film. Let's not forget that it's almost completely ignored that half of the supplies used by the antagonists are branded with "Wayne Enterprises". (Are they just going to ignore such rampant corruption?)
I contemplated walking out of Dark Water and Alien Vs. Predator. I know I probably shouldn't have bothered to see either of them, but I was bored with my best friend the summer before he left for the army and we went to a cheap theater for them.
Edit: (sp)
This post has been edited by Slade: 16 July 2007 - 04:45 PM
#11
Posted 17 July 2007 - 06:50 PM
"Maybe artists shouldn't talk about their art."
"Well kids, I guess your father isn't a hermaphrodite."
"Izzy! enough with the rabid smootching!!"
#13
Posted 18 July 2007 - 01:31 PM
hudson hawk
billy bathgate
dreamcatcher
batman begins
dude wheres my car
critters
harry and the hendersons
things to do in denver when youre dead
You walked out of Batman Begins???
You're film critiques can no longer be taken seriously.
I've never walked out of a theater just because I only go to the movies unless I've carefully screened the trailers for crap, and if its just one of those movies where you HAVE to see it on the big screen.
I almost asked for my money back for Matrix Revolutions. What a shit piece of film.
#15
Posted 18 July 2007 - 01:45 PM
Linky:
http://www.expirydate.co.uk/menu.html
My band wrote one of the songs.
EDIT: I fell asleep during Meet The Fockers. Twice. Oh, and the second time I saw Star Wars Episode 3 (Wow, thats how good it was - I can't remember it's title.)
This post has been edited by Spann: 18 July 2007 - 01:46 PM
-The League Against Tedium