[Madam Corvax]

* Suddenly MC appears from nowhere and starts mumbling elvish nonsense waiting for the water to turn into gallping horses sweeping all pirates and ninjas alike. *

Oh well, I see that nothing is happening, so I might as well slap this past its selling date cream cake right into "Clean Slade" .

And then MC disappearas cackling vicously.

[floppydisk]

ARRGH!! No pirate needs WASHING MACHINES! But I do want that GAME BOY!

*lops off generic pirate-ninja's head and stuffs his new gameboy down his pants for safekeeping*

Cmon men! Onto Slade's ship!

[Jane Sherwood]

(*has meanwhile now swung onto Slade's ship and wildly hacked her way through Generic Pirate-Ninjas Numbers Twelve through Thirty-seven*)

Come on! They're only half-ninjas, they're not so tough!

(*reaches behind her and stabs Generic Pirate-Ninja Number Five - who was trying to sneak up on her - in the face*)

See? They're only half as skilled as a proper ninja or pirate! Now, you lot can take on whomever ye want, but leave Slade to me!

(*pauses*)

Why are you so dead set on washing machines, anyway? You could be hunting for gold, silver, jewels, all the treasure in the Spanish Main, and you want washing machines?

What are you going to do with washing machines on a pirate ship? Honestly!

[floppydisk]

That's a pirate-ninja ship, Captian Jane! And he wants washing machines because there's a huge market for them in Japan! And where did JM go in all the confusion? We seem to have lost half the members of this battle! ARRGH!!

*sticks a Generic Ninja-Pirate #73 on his sword, then pulls out his pistol and takes a shot at Generic Ninja-Pirate #62, tearing off half it's head. Then he nimbly dodges Generic Ninja-Pirate #124, and leaps back onto his ship to find JM*

Last I remember, he poisoned the rum! He's probably still in there!

This post has been edited by floppydisk: 06 April 2005 - 04:48 PM

[Slade]

A washing machine once ordered an assassin to murder both of my parents. This assassin was successful, so I devoted my entire life to finding the purpetrators of this heinous crime. After defeating the assassin in spoon-to-spoon combat and cutting his heart out with the same spoon that was used on my parents, I partook of pirateering in order to discover the washing machine that wished for my parent's death! Therefore, I sail the sixty-two and a third seas in search of that machine to rid the world of it, even if I have to eliminate every other washing machine on the planet.

*Throughout the monologue, five pirates had been creeping up behind him. At the moment before a strike to the back, one let slip an 'Arrrr!' Slade whirls around*

Alas, I must resort to ULTRA-VIOLENCE!!! *Slade parrys and ripostes a pirate in the face with his katana, then dodges another blow causing it to run another pirate through. He cuts the sword arm of the third pirate off and just pokes the other two in the eyes. He goes about killing pirates and defending his crew from the massive onslaught. Floppypirate fifty-two goes down without a fight, Sherwood pirate is impaled from behind. He looks down at the sword protruding through his chest and offers a contemplative 'Yarr' before collapsing.*

This is for all of my hybrid crew that have been mercilessly slaughtered! You have dishonored my family! NOW YOU MUST DIE! *Activates ten second self destruct mechanism on ship and leaps aboard Capn' Sherwood's ship using the rope of his ship's ruined mast to swing across, katana in teeth. He chops off heads in mid-swing and backflips off of the rope and lands, fending off blows and returning his own, removing quite a few spleans in the process.* I will have my revenge! None shall stop me, or my name isn't too long for me to remember!

This post has been edited by Slade: 06 April 2005 - 05:49 PM

[barend]

Yes, Ninja may die, but pirates drink poison-ninja grog.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Tis nothin' compared to what we be normally cramin' into our gullets!!!

Yar har har har!!!

This rum has bite!!! Yar har har har....

[Laughlyn]

Yarrrrr!

This be an easy fight men, at the peek of the battle the dastardly ninja will fall into a dreamlike flashback state, in order to overcome some emotional difficulty, aided by his dead parents ghosts.

Whilst he's distracted we blow the powder room! sending his crew to meet Davy Jones.

Yar Ha Ha!

[Jane Sherwood]

HEY! That bastard son of a Tortugan whore is trying to steal my ship!

(*pulls out one of several small throwing knives hidden on her person and flings it at Slade. It firmly lodges itself in one of his kidneys*)

Quick! Grab all the booty you can before the ship blows!

...

And before you say anything, I mean "booty" as in "treasure."

This post has been edited by Jane Sherwood: 06 April 2005 - 06:41 PM

[barend]

that be why we call it "loot" or "swag"

booty be anothers call!








booty call! Yar har har har...

This post has been edited by barend: 06 April 2005 - 08:01 PM

[floppydisk]

"Activates ten second self destruct mechanism on ship" - Slade

*Luckily, floppydisk is already searching for JM on his ship*

ARRGH!! There he be!

*JM jumps out of the shadows, swinging his sword in a downward arc. floppydisk blocks it and brutally hacks at JM. Fluidly blocking floppydisk's onslaught, JM throws a ninja star. It lodges firmly in floppydisk's parrot.*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
PECKER! You'll pay for that JM!

*floppydisk drives a hard blow at JM and his sword is cut in half when JM blocks. Luckily, the top part of his sword flys off and sticks in JM's forehead* (I figured that was ok since JM hasn't posted in this topic for a while)

*runs up to the deck*

Cap'n Sherwood! Throw me a sword! And a spare parrot!

This post has been edited by floppydisk: 06 April 2005 - 08:03 PM

[Jane Sherwood]

(*flings an extra sword at floppydisk...a bit too hard*)

Oops...mind your head, there! You'll have to make due with the parrot you've got right now until we reach land, though. Just...tie him onto your shoulder or something...he doesn't look that bad...really!

(*glances at the limp, bloody bird and the ninja star deeply embedded in its chest; cringes*)

Eugh...

[floppydisk]

Thanks, Jane

*leaps into battle against the remaining Generic Pirate-Ninjas, using his new sword and parrot as a bludgeon*

If we had any washing machines, Slade, I would heave them at you! ARRGH!!

*Slade's ship slowly sinks, as the fighting continues. Slowly the numbers dwindle until only a few dozen fighters are left in one piece*

Wait, what's that up in the sky? s! ARRGH! What do we do? We can't kill them with cannons!

[barend]

Arrr too much poisoned rum...

*takes a leak of the side of the ship*

[floppydisk]

*Tries in vain to protect barend from Generic Pirate-Ninjas while he has his wee wee out, but to no avail. floppydisk falls off the ship into the water.*

ARRGH! Twas that poisoned rum that made me see aliens!

[Slade]

Urk... *pulls dagger out of kidney* You bitch, I only have two of those, you know! *throws dagger back at Jane's chest at blinding speed*

I shall not be defeated like this!

*Staggers for a moment and then turns to kill a pirate that has rushed at him. The force of needing to swing his sword arm pulls his body off balance and he half limps, half falls into the side railing of the ship, using one arm to support himself and still managing to kill a few remaining pirates that assail him with his failing strength.*

I will find the washing machine that had my parents killed! JM... where are you...?

*Slade continues to fend off blows from attackers.*

This post has been edited by Slade: 06 April 2005 - 09:50 PM