Your Episode VI script is pretty good Ferris, considering it is a 1-hour brainstorm. You certainly did borrow a lot from Zahn, but that's ok. A few things, I will be brutally honest, but don't take offense, to what I didn't like
1. The Emperor - At this point I think you ran out of ideas, because having the Emperor a clone of Obi-Wan, is well, just plain silly. Having Owen Lars, who really isn't that important a character, be the inventor of clone technology is ridiculous. Not only have we not heard his name for 2 movies, it just isn't in his character to be that. He is a simple moisture farmer. He should be nothing more, nothing less. You don't need a stunning revelation here. Make the Emperor the Emperor, but don't make an unnecessarily complex plot which is probably the most blatant use of Zahn's writings about Joruus C'baoth and tries to explain the Clone Wars, Anakin's seduction and the fall of the rebellion in 5 minutes. Keep it simple.
2. Boba Fett vs. Han Solo - I know fans wanted to see a duel between them, and I would have too, but not an ACTUAL duel. Not when they actually say, Boba Fett will face off with Han Solo in a duel. First of all, as a bounty hunter, Fett would never do this, he would get nothing from it and would not risk his life for Jabba's sport. Second of all, it just seems like a contrived moment where many people in the theater would groan. I would much rather see an impromptu face-off between the two, or just have Han kill him to save Luke's life. This just seems like it's on par with some of the prequel stuff, much like "It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the force, but by our skills with a lightsaber."
3. Jabba - I don't care that he's human, you want him like that fine, but don't make him a good guy. It seems you made him more like Talon Karrde (again from Zahn's books) than the Jabba I would've imagined. In the first 2 movies, we've gotten so that we really don't like Jabba. Even though we've never seen him, we really don't like him. Don't have a sudden turnaround because of a favor he owed someone (which he really didn't by the way) so that he makes the difference with the rebels.
4. Lando dying - I realize sacrifices must be made in war, but I wouldn't kill of Lando. Maybe this is just personal opinion, but I just don't think he should die.
5. Love traingle - Not a problem, because it's not in the story
You have to address this at some point.
6. The "other" - Same as 5.
7. Vader dying because he is sustained by the Emperor - This just seems like ROTJ, only a much more extreme version. This seems just too much. Just have Vader be mortally wounded by the Emperor while he's killing him. Again, much simpler, especially since you would have to explain in the movie that Vader collapsed because he was sustained byt he Emperor, and that would be an awkward scene.
8. The ending - Don't hate it, but it's exactly the same as ROTJ.
9. Yoda - Again, just too complicated for the movie. And how are you going to explain this? In a book maybe it could work, but in the movie it would just be another pointlessly complicated scene that would have to be explained by out-of-place dialogue. If you don't like Yoda's death fine, but I think it would be better to just leave him there than it would to have the whole planet vanish (also conflicts just a bit with the laws of nature and physics and everything, afterall, where was Luke standing? What was he eating if it was all Force-generated?). I think Yoda's death makes sense in this kind of movie, since his purpose is done and he can now go peacefully into the Force, since he now has nothing left to accomplish in the universe, but I won't get into that.
What I find funny about this is that for someone who hates ROTJ vehemently, you seem to have MANY elements of ROTJ in this, combined with some of Zahn's ideas. Again considering this was written in an hour, it's fine, and I really didn't mean to be this critical on something like that, but just giving you my 2 cents.
This post has been edited by Vwing: 14 May 2004 - 02:20 PM