Well I could afford it because of my sweet job. My father caught the king having sex with my mother so he hunted him down and mercilessly murdered him over a period of about one to two months (the sages are still debating the exact length of time he took) It took so long because the king had a whole lot of hit points. Anyhow the queen of Illythia, the town I live in, knighted my father and as a reward for his horrific torture of her husband she declared him to be the town's adventurer.
My mother eventually came home and my father forgave her after the first night she spent there, though he still brought it up every once in a while when he was feeling a might bit peckish. Either that or he'd just carry her off and ravage her. There was an awful lot of ravaging going on around the time I was born and as I understand it I'm the product of a ravaging myself. Everyone seems to be a good sport about it and all though.
It's practically understood that a fellow's wife will likely be ravaged at any given moment. That's what really bugged my dad- if the king had just behaved like a decent lord and come in and ravaged my mother there would have been absolutely no hard feelings, everyone's pretty used to it. But instead they had to consensually cheat on him, what the devil can the world be coming to?
Anyhow my father became the town adventurer because of that and a fine adventurer he was. He died a while back after getting ravaged by a woman adventurer from Muthes. Come to think of it maybe he wasnt that great of an adventurer after all. Or at least not good enough to avoid getting beaten up by a girl.
So that's how the title came to me. It was a lot of fun. I'd get drunk and then challenge random people to duels, I'd accuse small animals of attacking me and slay them and of course I got everything I wanted for free being as adventurers don't have to pay for anything.
So that's the story of how I got the elven chair I was sitting in when the wizard Phil appeared. He wasnt exactly fabled and he didn't so much appear as he just walked in. He yelled "BANG" rather loud though so it seemed as though he'd appeared with a thunderclap or something. Come to think of it I'd never even heard of the wizard Phil until he introduced himself, which he did immediately upon arrival.
"Greetings! It is I!" He called out in a loud voice, raising bushy eyebrows that hung down nearly to his white beard which had a chicken wing stuck in it. His robes were all brown and his hat was grey and conical and probably fell off in a strong wind. Regardless he was a tall and impressive man.
"Ummm.. That's good." I ventured. I didn't at all inquire about what he was doing in my house. It is perfectly typical for adventurers to walk into people's houses without a word and just snatch whatever they please. Generally it's considered good luck if all they do is smash your clay pots, steal any healing items you had and then leave without ravaging you.
"I have come to lead you on a mystical journey, one from which you are unlikely to return!" I was begining to realize that this wizard ended every sentence with an exclamation point.
"If I'm unlikely to return than I think I'll pass." I said. It's not that I'm a coward but I really do enjoy living, as opposed to like, you know, being dead or something.
"I only said you wouldn't return, not that you'd die!"
"Well why wouldnt I come back here unless I was dead?"
"You might only be horribly maimed and not able to make the trip back!" He pointed out, cheered by being able to make his statement seem vague though it clearly wasn't. I tried to interject as I didn't find this a very nice prospect.
"But..." He cut me off and continued.
"Or your face might get eaten by a dragon and you wouldnt want to ever be seen by human eyes again!"
I finally broke in at this. "You're not helping your cause any!"
"I'm just trying to say that there are other things that could happen to you besides death!" He retorted.
"Well isnt there anything better than death that could befall me?" I inquired testily.
"I suppose, if you're into that sort of thing! Anyhow, let me tell you about the actual quest.
End part 1
This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 10 November 2004 - 07:30 AM