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Jesus Death - Suicide? Did Jesus commit suicide and if so ... is he in hell?

#16 User is offline   Gobbler Icon

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 09:20 AM

Ah, you got me. I was under the impression that even though the semantics are very open to interpretation those words were exclusively meant to refer to or address "the big ol' bloke up there". Some native speaker just confirmed that I was wrong as well.

Strange thing though, considering how adamant they usually are about their tight-ass rules and definitions... would have thought they'd make more of a fuzz about that, like with the whole secret name business, YHWE, adonai and what not...

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#17 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

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Posted 29 December 2010 - 06:54 PM

Umm, I may have to double check where I'm pulling this from, but the general tradition is that Jesus did go to Hell/Land of the Lost/Limbo. Before Christ dies everyone is stuck in Hell, or they're unable to get through the gate to heaven because they suck. For all those people God promised would make it in after they died, He kept his promise but kinda left out the when. Jesus dies and all the sins of mankind are forgiven, past, present, and future. He then spends the next three days ripping out the gates of Hell and unlocking the gates of Heaven. With that he resurrects, pops back to say a few fare thee wells, and then walks through the gates of Heaven.

Even on the off chance that God considers it bad form to allow yourself to be killed A) Jesus is God/partly God (or something) B) His death just kinda forgives all sin ever including his own.

And yeah I would surmise that the crapload of torture, cross dragging, getting nailed to said cross, having said cross put upright, breaking of knees (Pushes bones toward lungs or something like that. It causes you to drown wicked slowly), and sticking around on that damn cross for a few days must have really, really been a truly horrific way to go. Possibly bad enough for God (in a human body) to go "wow, what was I thinking?"
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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#18 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 30 December 2010 - 12:27 AM

Next topic:

Budha: Secret evil child molester?

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#19 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

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Posted 30 December 2010 - 01:42 AM

That would be funny, and perhaps ironic. Certainly unexpected.
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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#20 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 31 December 2010 - 04:22 AM

Sure, why not?


"Rub my belly for luck, kids. Lower ... lower ... lower ... aaaaaaaaah!"
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).
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#21 User is offline   Deucaon Icon

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Posted 08 January 2011 - 06:57 AM

He was a spoiled and hypocritical brat that lived on his family's money.
"I felt insulted until I realized that the people trying to mock me were the same intellectual titans who claimed that people would be thrown out of skyscrapers and feudalism would be re-institutionalized if service cartels don't keep getting political favors and regulations are cut down to only a few thousand pages worth, that being able to take a walk in the park is worth driving your nation's economy into the ground, that sexual orientation is a choice that can be changed at a whim, that problems caused by having institutions can be solved by introducing more institutions or strengthening the existing ones that are causing the problems, and many more profound pearls of wisdom. I no longer feel insulted because I now feel grateful for being alive and witnessing such deep conclusions from my fellows."
-Jimmy McTavern, 1938.
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#22 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 09 January 2011 - 12:56 AM

Hey this is fun. Next up: Mother Teresa: did she perform a donkey show for the pope once?

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#23 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 09 January 2011 - 05:03 AM

LOL. Only ONCE? You are so naive.
"I had a lot of different ideas. At one point, Luke, Leia and Ben were all going to be little people, and we did screen tests to see if we could do that." -George Lucas, in STAR WARS: the Annotated Screenplays (p197).
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#24 User is offline   Zatoichi Icon

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Posted 09 January 2011 - 07:00 PM

I wouldn't put it past her. All of the good things she did throughout her life, she must've been making up for some really wild and crazy things.
Apparently writing about JM here is his secret weakness. Muwahaha!!!! Now I have leverage over him and am another step closer towards my goal of world domination.

"And the Evil that was vanquished shall rise anew. Wrapped in the guise of man shall he walk amongst the innocent and Terror shall consume they that dwell upon the Earth. The skies will rain fire. The seas shall become as blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked! And all creation shall tremble before the burning standards of Hell!" - Mephisto

Kurgan X showed me this web comic done with Legos. It pokes fun at all six Star Wars films and I found it to be extremely entertaining.
<a href="http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html" target="_blank">http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/cast/starwars.html</a>
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