ASK BAREND... the Bad Advice collumn
#47
Posted 11 July 2004 - 04:16 AM
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#48
Posted 11 July 2004 - 08:40 AM
spray some insect repelant up your nose, this will repel him into your mouth, where you will have the home team advantage...
and you can bite HIM back!!!
your snortacious friend,
Barend
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#49
Posted 11 July 2004 - 04:31 PM
Now that's just cruel...
Chyld is an ignorant slut.
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
#50
Posted 12 July 2004 - 03:28 AM
Then again, I was a right little prick in primary school.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#51
Posted 12 July 2004 - 10:33 PM
Chyld is an ignorant slut.
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
#52
Posted 13 July 2004 - 08:43 AM
Oh problem with him wasn't from people telling tales, but rather him enforcing himself on others. It was scary.
This post has been edited by SimeSublime: 13 July 2004 - 08:45 AM
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#53
Posted 13 July 2004 - 09:43 PM
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#54
Posted 14 July 2004 - 07:32 AM
So, Barend,
Any other suggestions on how we could have got ol' Wort Nose to leave us alone, taking into account that telling him to piss off had no effect, and physical violence would have netted us a detention?
-Harassed.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#55
Posted 14 July 2004 - 09:56 PM
perhaps prettending to be his friend (my answer to everything) and either;
1. offering him a mix of battery acid and baking soda as cocain, killing him and giving everyone the day off for the funeral, and another day practically off a whole-day school assembly is called in ti raise awarness of drugs!!!
2. invite him on a hunting trip (the rest will come naturally)
3. tell him you're gay, and that you would like to know him better...
I hope this has been of some reflective help... and advise you will one day give to your own children.
one-of-the-popular kids
Barend.
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#56
Posted 14 July 2004 - 10:33 PM
Every night this damned yip-dog next door barks incessantly, and I can't sleep. I've tried bottles of sleeping pills, ear plugs, sound proofing my entire house. I even hired a guy to shoot the mutt, but now it just whines from the bullet wound when it's not barking. It's so bad I take an entire bottle of speed pills dissolved in Jolt Cola just to keep up at work. I feel like Judy Garland, or some other person who uses depressants and stimulants every day to function properly. What can I do, short of moving away?
Oh, and who won the all-star game this year?
Sleepless in New York
This post has been edited by Slade: 14 July 2004 - 10:39 PM
#57
Posted 15 July 2004 - 06:38 PM
A horde of moths of the kamikaze variety have invaded my house. What should I do?
--Moth-Plagued
Remember Emu's face, people; one day it's going to be on the news alongside a headline about blowing some landmark to smithereens, and then we can all sigh and say, "She was such a normal person".....
....We'd be lying though.
-Laughlyn
If my doctor tells me to exercise, I am going to force him to do my homework.
-Mirithorn
- Do Not Use the Elevators - deviantART - Infinite Monkeys -
#58
Posted 16 July 2004 - 12:32 AM
you're on the right track
just the wrong aplication of each...
sleeping pills? ...try giving them to the dog.
ear plugs? ...try head phones, listen to loud music.
sound proofing? ...build a small doghouse with no door and soundproof that, give it to your neighbour.
shooting the mut? ...shoot the owner!
your dogloving pal (get it, as in the dog food PAL?)
Barend
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dear Moth-Plagued,
turn all your indoor lights into those blue zappy ones! it'll make your house look and sound like a german night club!
Moth balls n' all
barend
This post has been edited by barend: 16 July 2004 - 12:33 AM
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)
#59
Posted 05 November 2004 - 12:52 AM
Say that a candidate whos policies I don't agree with gets elected into office. What should I do?
-Seaching for a Sniper Rifle
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#60
Posted 05 November 2004 - 07:02 AM
write in to all creditcard companies and banks and tell them you and millions of others will boycot their company unless they refuse service to any one who voted for the guy you don't like...
god bless democracy!!!!
your facist friend Barend.
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)