[Ninja Duck]

Hi. I would like to file a complaint, please. Please address this as soon as possible and let me know.

[Heccubus]

You'll need to fill out Form 2B. This is not the line for form 2B complaints. You'll need to get into Line C to obtain the form, fill it out, then go over there *points vaguely* to submit your complaint.

[SimeSublime]

Do not forget to attach the relevant fee.

[Otal Nimrodi]

And remember to sign it in triplicate.

[Slade]

You'll also need to submit to a drug test after we determine your identity via DNA test in conjunction with you showing us the original copy of your birth certificate, social security card, as well as seven other items proving eligibilty from lists B and C. However, if you possess exactly two and a half items from list D, subsection 5.q, you only need to display six items from both lists B and C after a full body cavity search. Oh, and this is the wrong line for that anyway. You need to go over there. *waves toward Heccubus*

[Heccubus]

The fee for the drug test administration is $50 and you'll need to have it administered by your family physician, who will also need to provide a full vaccination record. You'll also be required to provide dental records, and documentation explaining any surgeries you've had performed on you in the past decade, medical, dental or otherwise.
Then, and only then, can we provide you with the forms needed to apply for the forms to register your complaint.

This post has been edited by Heccubus: 26 August 2008 - 12:27 PM

[Vesuvius]

And for forms 1-5, you'll need to sign your name on the lines below, print your name in the box next to it, initial in the small boxes to the right of the paragraphs, and date them. Also, you'll need to go over there *leans over the counter and points at a single black door* for a small incision on your left little finger to sign the final page in blood.

Then return those forms, including the one signed in blood to the first desk.