For the purposes of this fight, I'll define a classic troll to be the ones out of Tolkien. Y'know the stupid slow strong ones with a big club and the rather unfortunate habit of turning into stone at sunrise. A plastic troll will, of course, be made of plastic with all the strengths and weaknesses that entails. If there was any horrible spin off cartoons and similar that said more about the advantages and disadvantages of being a little oil-based twerp, then please, let me know. I'll add it up straight away as soon as I can confirm it.
Oh yeah, the dark entity known as "floppydisk" has already made the point that plastic trolls are not alive so could not win any fight by definition. Thought we were so smart now didn't you? Well what do you think of THIS good sir? If you think plastic trolls are not alive, then you are picturing this fight as happening in the real world not a fantasy one. However, in the real world, CLASSIC TROLLS DO NOT EXIST!!! Therefore the plastic cunt would win by default simply due to actually existing. If you want any chance of winning, you have to grant my hideous little freak the right to life. Get outta THAT one, you cocky wee bastard.
For some annoying reason, I couldn't post any pictures. That's one reason this poll is inferior to Puffins VS Lemurs right there. Of course Sherwood can do it, but not me, oh no. WHY THE FUCK ARE WOMEN ALWAYS SMARTER THAN MEN?!?!? GRAAGH!!! Oh well. Fell free to use the power of your imaginations boys and girls. Give in to the wonder...
IN THE RED CORNER...
Classic Troll
Height: 8ft
Weight: 650 lbs
Name: Dur?
Strengths:
Um...strength
Skin made of rock
He can kill the little bastard
by just stepping on him.
Weaknesses:
Slow
Stupid
Turns to inanimate stone at sunrise
Weapons: Great big wooden club with nail through it.
IN THE BLUE CORNER...
Plastic Troll
Height: 4 inches
Weight: 3 ounces
Name: Annoying Plastic Cunt
Strengths:
Speed
Evil animal cunning
Razor sharp fangs
Ability to milk kids out of their allowance
Can't be kicked in the genitalia because it doesn't have any
He can kill the big bastard
by just scurrying up his back
and bursting his eyeballs with his teeth.
Weaknesses:
Very frail
Very weak
Completely hollow
Weird eyes
Annoying hair
Tendency to run about naked
Weapons: Razor sharp fangs and claws.
LETTSA GEEETA READY TO RUUUMBLEEE!!!!!
This post has been edited by Voodoo dog: 08 May 2005 - 06:56 PM