[JediPooDoo]

Reason #27
Inept Mystery
This mystery designed for ten year olds unfolds as Obi-Wan discovers that the planet he's looking for (where they make the darts) is not in the archives. He decides to find Master Yoda and enlist his help in finding this missing planet. In this scene a baby is able to figure out what Obi-Wan cannot, that the planet has been erased from the archive memory. "Only a Jedi could erase those files." This is what Yoda says. Why?

Because only a Jedi would have a library card!

[Infernus]

Huh..amusing to say the least.

[Thurkon]

It was mentioned how asinine it is that a bounty hunter hires another bounty hunter to place slugs into a robot, and why the robot didn't kill Padme with bullets or laser fire...but let's take it further:

Why does the robot stick around? Are the slugs that valuable? It seems to have an ability to gauge when the mission fails, but why upon failure does it return to Zam? Why not self-destruct as a second attempt? Does it need to report back to Zam? If so, shouldn't it also have some ability to detect if it is being followed or giving someone a ride?

[jerfus17]

Very good point! Also, when the Jedi finally corner this sub-contracted bounty hunter, Zam, and they have their backs to Jango Fett, why the Hell doesn't he just kill all freaking three of them and then - NO WITNESSES! Anakin and Obi-Wan couldn't detect that dart coming in to kill Zam, I doubt they'd detect a laser or grenade.

Which brings up my second point. Why would Jango use a stupid dart (which is a solid piece of evidence and is traceable) instead of a laser? Absurd! And why would he then go blasting over the rooftops with his jet-pack for all of Courscant to witness? Lucas' plot development is so freaking assine. He (or his animators rather) comes up with these ridiculous CG scenarios but doesn't really stop to think how or why the characters should be there in the first place. So he makes them do these stupid, out of place things just to get the film moving to his next lame CG action sequence.

[jerfus17]

Here's another thing I didn't see in Chefelf's Reasons to Hate Ep 2 that I thought should be included. It has to do with the Geonosian Bug-Boys and Steam Vents.

When Anakin, Amidala and the droids are arrving on Geonosis they are looking for a place to land. Amidala points out these giant steam vents as a good landing spot. WHAT? Who the Hell would ever think of landing inside a freaking steam vent? First off, there's STEAM coming out! For George Lucas or mental midgets the equivalent of - steam is super-heated water in vaporous form. Direct exposure to it for even a few seconds can blister and peel flesh instantly. So I hope they don't plan on getting out of the ship if they land in there. And secondly, even if you do land in the stupid steam vent, where are you going to go? I don't know many steam vents that have doors in them.

Of course, not only are our heroes steam proof, there is an exit inside the steam vent leading into a hallway filled with sleeping Bug-Men! And at the other end of this bug-boy sleeping chamber is a factory assembly line! Is anyone else not getting this? How ludicrous is this crap??

Finally, these Geonosian bug-boys are so techologically advanced they have invented deadly sonic weaponary, build and maintain huge Battle Droid factories, and even invented the Death Star - BUT they run around in nothing but grass skirts and sleep inside hallways connected to factory floors on one end, and steam vents on the OTHER!!!!??? GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!!!!

Anyway, that's one of the thousands of problems with Ep2 that caught my attention.

[Lord Aquaman]

Here's another thing I didn't see in Chefelf's Reasons to Hate Ep 2 that I thought should be included. It has to do with the Geonosian Bug-Boys and Steam Vents.

When Anakin, Amidala and the droids are arrving on Geonosis they are looking for a place to land. Amidala points out these giant steam vents as a good landing spot. WHAT? Who the Hell would ever think of landing inside a freaking steam vent? First off, there's STEAM coming out! For George Lucas or mental midgets the equivalent of - steam is super-heated water in vaporous form. Direct exposure to it for even a few seconds can blister and peel flesh instantly. So I hope they don't plan on getting out of the ship if they land in there. And secondly, even if you do land in the stupid steam vent, where are you going to go? I don't know many steam vents that have doors in them.

Of course, not only are our heroes steam proof, there is an exit inside the steam vent leading into a hallway filled with sleeping Bug-Men! And at the other end of this bug-boy sleeping chamber is a factory assembly line! Is anyone else not getting this? How ludicrous is this crap??

Finally, these Geonosian bug-boys are so techologically advanced they have invented deadly sonic weaponary, build and maintain huge Battle Droid factories, and even invented the Death Star - BUT they run around in nothing but grass skirts and sleep inside hallways connected to factory floors on one end, and steam vents on the OTHER!!!!??? GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!!!!

Anyway, that's one of the thousands of problems with Ep2 that caught my attention.

It's very ludicrous crap, with plotholes so big you could drive a tank through them.

[Darth Carolla]

The most laughable moment for me from Clones was during the execution/gladiator scene on Geonosis when Padme has her outfit torn by a monster to bare her midriff. It wasn't just that hit happened, but how she held and unlikely flattering pose and squealed when it happened.

[Vesuvius]

Yeah, about that excution scene, clearly that animal cut Padme on the back, and the next scene, the entire center of the outfit is missing. We didn't even see it get torn away, not like that!

...Ahh, and it still bothers me that not one of those clones in armor was real...

[Mr Pye]

Just to add my amusement at the already mentioned chain of events in the assasination attempt on Padme. Jango employs Zam who uses a Robot that delivers the killer bugs. Anakin kills the bugs, the robot leads him back to Zam where Jango appears and kills Zam with a poisoned arrow. The last event is not without interest, because if you scale away all the unecessary steps in the chain you might have been left with Jango killing Padme with the poisoned arrow.

[makingfun22_sw]

OK first i have to compiment you for your lists. They are great. I had a lot of fun with them. There were some "reasons" that made me laugh uncontrollably. I am no particularly fun of Star Wars but i found the prequels annoying, though visually spectacular. But the think that strikes me the most and you didn't comment at all is how dumb the jedi are for trusting the clone army. At the beggining of the movie Obi-Wan is sent to investigate the plot against the life of queen (princess, senator, whatever) Amidala. His investigation leads him to a bounty hunter who might be in Kamino. He finds him there and with him a clone army that was ordered from a jedi master (or so the makers of the army say) who has died before the order (for the army) was made???!!! Furthermore the bad guy/bounty hunter is the prototype. Neither the senate nor the jedi council gave permission for the creation of the army. But there is more. The army is ready at the same time when in the senate there is a debate whether or not to create an army, which means of course that one is needed. What a coincidence, how convenient. Yoda takes the army nonetheless and goes to Geonosis. There the jedi find that the bad guy/bounty hunter, who is the prototype for the clones, works for Count Dooku to whom Yoda senses the dark side. Shouldn't the peace loving, peace protectors jedi SENSE a trap. Besides Yoda says that the start of the clone war was a bad think. Why then not participate and go along with senator Amidala's plan. Instead while it is obvious to an 8 year old that the clone army was created by the sith, one way or the other, the jedi endorse it and play the sith's game. Well done. I don't know how to call this. Plot hole? Better try plot black hole that sucked the Star Wars saga. As i said i am no particular fan of Star Wars because i am not into all these good vs evil kind of stuff. But the prequels with the clone army make me furious. In the republic, counting THOUSANDS of worlds, most likely TRILLIONS of citizens, there aren't a few THOUSAND people who would like to defend it, defend it's ideals, it's interests, it's cohesion etc (you choose)???!!! There aren't any "less moral" who would want, for the right payment, to defend whatever cause? I find that lack of faith to humanity (which i believe all inteligent life in the universe shares) annoying to say the least. These, in my opinion, make the prequels parodies of the original trilogy. It's laughable. Which is why i like your lists so much. That and for your sarcasm (and self-sarcasm).

This post has been edited by makingfun22_sw: 26 November 2008 - 08:32 PM

[stephen]

Has anyone mentioned Ewan McGregors excrementally bad false beard in some scenes? Really, really poor.

[Hoth]

The only thing that makes this movie less of a dissapoinment than TPM is by the time AOTC came out, everyone was expecting it to suck...I agree with Chefelf, everytime I hear someone give an excuse as to why there "appears" to be an inconsistency when there supposedly really isn't, the excuse is really, really weak & THIN...

I just don't know why people have a hard time accepting the fact that the prequels, altogether, was just a monumental catastrophy...I think it's because they loved the Star Wars of their youth so much it is just really hard for them to hear someone say anything bad about it and admit that G.L. did his best to destroy it. It doesn't surpise me that those who are young enough not to have grown up with the original trilogy like them, they are use to digital effect-filled crap with no plotlines, dialogue or story. I have nothing against special effects and I don't think they ruined this movie anymore then Jar Jar Binks (even Jar Jar alone couldn't have made the movies this bad), they just took the place of anything substantial...wouldn't it have been nice to have the deep storylines, interesting dialogue and unique characters of yesterday's Star Wars, with the digital effects abilities of todays G.L.? Given the choice I would have chosen the Star Wars of yesterday without the amazing special effects...because apparently G.L. can't do both. I just don't understand how people about my age and older who grew up with the Original Trilogy oould make any kind of excuse for this garbage. I'm all for taking a mental break somewhat when trying to enjoy a movie, but there comes a point when it gets ridiculous and insulting...and if there EVER was any set of movies that it shouldn't take place in, it would be the prequels of the greatest movie franchise ever...congrats G.L. you got your special effects masterpiece...too bad they're the most dissapointing movies ever put on film...

I maintain my original stance, I just pretend the prequels don't exist, that way I can still enjoy the original trilogy...it's the only way I can...