Chefelf.com Night Life: Rhubarb - Viewing Profile

Dear All Of Those People Who Are After Pictures Or Links That They Could Easily Find Online In Like Eight Seconds But Nevertheless Keep Requesting That Other People Find Them For Them Because "I'm Too Lazy To Search",

Fucking stop it. Not only would it generally take more effort to post the request than it would to type the search string into Google, but it's also really bloody annoying and makes me decide that you're a useless prat.

Love, Light and Peace,
Sarah

NEIL GAIMAN DID BOOKSIGNING HERE IN BRISBANE

TWO DAYS AGO

AT A BOOKSHOP I GO TO LOTS

AND I DIDN'T KNOW

HOW COULD I NOT HAVE KNOWN

/weeps

3:14pm
"The Prime Minister's pulse quickened at the thought of these accusations, for they were neither fair nor true." Hahahahahaha.

Well, that was a good start.

4:33pm
Can't say I'm too impressed so far. I'd forgotten about Rowling's habit of talking down to the reader. Snape's intro was totally ace, but then I was imagining all his dialogue being read in Rickman's cold, precise sneer. Dumbledore is still quite cool, but coming across as kinda smug. Impossible to lose myself in the story. It just seems twee, somehow.

Kinda says a lot about Rowling that Ginny, Hermione and Mrs. Weasley all turn into jealous harpies in the presence of a hotter woman. Also what's with all this Teh Precious Bonds Of Friendship crap that keeps popping up?

Okay, "resemblence to half a panda" was pretty funny.

Also, Mrs. Weasley is an annoying and ignorant cow.

4:47pm
Just noticed the little picture on the inside back cover. Snape's and Narcissa's hands, I'd imagine (heh, Narcissa, oh Rowling, how subtle). I'm unsure of whether to be annoyed or relieved at not seeing the artist's interpretation of the rest of them. Speaking of the cover, why does Dumbledore look like a crazy old drunken hobo shouting obscenities and waving bacon?

Forgot how stupid Hagrid's phoenetic accent is.

5:23pm
I can't really remember much about what happened in the previous book. Why is Neville suddenly important, again?

5:28pm
I should probably be indignant at Harry getting beaten up, but in all honesty, he's really had that coming for a long fucking time.

5:31pm
Snaaaaaaaape.

Ahaha. "Harry clung to this notion because it enabled him to blame Snape". OMG SYKOLOGY! Whoa, this book is DEEP.

5:40pm
"NOOOOOOOO! He cannot teach Defence Against Dark Arts cos he is evil! EVUL I SAYS!"

5:45pm
Oh wow, Snape is such a dude. Seriously. What an awesomely creepy teacher. He's crooning about horrific tortures and using cool adjectives and he keeps turning all his classrooms into a dungeon. Harry's such a boring jerk. He has no sense of awesome. He probably doesn't even like Bond villains. Wish Snape was my teacher.

6:03pm
Gee, I don't expect this luck potion to later develop into a plot point in any way at all.

And this Dumbledore's Mysterious Hand Ailment is really being laid on thick here.

6:15pm
Three hours in and I don't think there's even been any plot yet.

6:40pm
Okay, it's getting more absorbing now. At least when everyone isn't sulking or having hissy fits at each other.

Mundungus Fletcher is totally CMOT Dibbler.

"The curvy and attractive barmaid, Madam Rosmerta". If that just said 'barwench' instead of 'barmaid' it'd be straight out of Eye of Argon.

6:55pm
Wow, Voldemort/Riddler's backstory is awesome cool. Poor Merope. This fucked-up Gaunt family is definitely the most interesting thing in this so far, by a mile.

7:15pm
At the sight of that kiss, Harry suddenly realised... HIS TRUE FEELINGS FOR GINNY.
Aaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Eehehehehehe. Hahahahahahahahahaha. Hehehehehehehe. Oh god. Ahahaha. Aha. Oh man. Ha. Ahaha. Wheeeee.

"He would have to control that particular brotherly feeling." EEEEEWWWWWW!

IT SO SWEET
LIKE BEAUTIFUL BIRDSONG AND ANGEL CHOIRS AND KITTENS
MY HEART BE ALL AFLUTTER

Christ I'm such a bitter old jade.

Geez, Ron. Do you fancy Ginny as well or what?

7:25pm
Christ Hermione and Ron need to get over themselves. Fucking hell. Someone really needs to tell Rowling that even though teenagers acting like spoiled bratty cunts is realism, it does not make for entertaining reading. Stop reliving your school years, woman. It's creepy, like when Lucas showed the world that he thought lecherous comments and stalking were romantic. I mean, fuck. Throwing their badges at each other and having little hissy fits was pretty funny back in Chamber of Secrets, but four books later it's just... fuck off and die. Harry doesn't have that "oh well, he's just a kid" excuse anymore either.

7:35pm
AWESOME LIBRARIAN WOMAN

7:50pm
" Luna was demonstrating her usual knack of speaking uncomfortable truths; he had never met anyone quite like her before."

Have I mentioned that Harry's a boring jerk?

8:15pm
What is it with all the song lyrics and titles relating to magic? It's like every damn thing in the witch/wizard world has to either be kooky and outrageous, or refer to magic in some way. Some fucked-up law or something. I can only imagine what the art and literature scene must be like.

8:33pm
That's what's missing from this book. The passion. The message. I'm surprised it took me this long to notice. Probably because I haven't read the others in so long. But the last book was full of scary Orwellian sociopolitical commentary where their government turned against them and started dealing out torture and imprisonment. What the hell happened to that? It's like, "Oh, Fudge resigned sorta, and now it's all okay". The fuck? Even the Azkaban horror doesn't seem to matter anymore, although it's apparently still there. Dementors are roaming around loose eating people's souls and no one's mentioned it since chapter 3, although you'd think it might be kinda important. Rowling really doesn't seem to care about this book much. The main theme so far is awkward bratty teenaged romance, which lacks quite the same punch as an entire society living in fear of being accused and tortured by the inquisition.

Yeah, now that I think about it, a lot of the themes prevailant in the previous books are just... either not present or are presented in a tired, here-it-is-again, formulaic kind of fashion. Rowling broke the mould with the last book, and now she's uninspired and trying to return to the old theme even though she could be doing so much more if she really gave a damn... considering what's going on there with worldwide hardcore terrorism and so on.

HALFWAY MARK REACHED

END OF PART 1.

I love them. I think they're amazing. 90% of my art and imagery comes out of dreams I've had. There's something so beautifully surreal and vivid about them. Even the nightmares. The really horrible hardcore ones. I hate them while I'm having them, but afterwards I'm like AWESOME and go write them down. The really cool ones have special meaning for me... I have clear memories of some dreams I had back in 1998. My only problem with them is that my drawing skills aren't near good enough to do them justice.

SO. What I want you people do to, yes you, is transcribe some of your coolest dreams for me here. None of this "I was at school and it was exams" boring crap. I want the really awesome or scary ones with strange shit, unusual images or stories, stuff that weirded you out. Any nightmares too.

I may want to steal some of them for a game about dreamscapes that I'm making, but I'll ask you first and stuff.

That is all.