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Synonyms Wherein masturbation is hilarious

#1 User is offline   spacemonkey Icon

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 04:38 AM

After Yahtzee's reference to Mrs Palm as her dancing partner, I suddenly found myself listing in my head other words for masturbation. I have a weird mind.
Anyway, I got bored and decided we should list the more elaborate terms. Afterall, reision is dull and I can do this instead! YAY!

so:
Dancing partner to Mrs. Palm
Tea with Mrs Palm and her five daughters
Autoerotic touching
Attending the bishop's service
Spanking the monkey
Attacking the one-eyed trouser snake

um
nope, I'm out. Little help?
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#2 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 05:01 AM

Making the bald man cry
Hanging with Rosie and her five sisters
Spanking the cyclopes
Shaking hands with Mr. Winky
Choking the chicken
Going fishing with your wedding tackle
Cranking one off
Living off the fat of the hen (?)
Crowning the king
Jerking around

Odd how when you're actually trying to think about it, you can't remember anything...

I've heard another interesting one, though: "Flicking the bean".

This post has been edited by Jane Sherwood: 10 June 2004 - 05:05 AM

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QUOTE
"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space; I'm a loony, for God's sake!"
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
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#3 User is offline   Yahtzee Icon

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 05:53 AM

Shaking hands with the goddess of love
Jerking the gherkin
Slapping your granny
The left-handed chamber orchestra
Strumming the one-stringed banjo (personal favourite)
Shaking the great white coconuts from the veiny pink love tree
As I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I realised that it could do with a lick of paint.
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#4 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 11:07 AM

Flicking the bean is refering to female masturbation, rather then male. May I direct you all here:

http://www.rathergood.com/jamie/

Jamie and the magic todger is full of masturbation references.
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#5 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 03:56 PM

I know that, that's why I thought it sounded a bit more interesting than the others. I hear about guys talking about jerking off all the time, but it never seems pop up in converstions I hear other girls having...or maybe I'm just not talking with the "right" people...
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Chyld is an ignorant slut.

QUOTE
"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space; I'm a loony, for God's sake!"
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
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#6 User is offline   Stalky Icon

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 04:52 PM

Erm...tossing?
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#7 User is offline   SkinnedAlive Icon

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 04:56 PM

Polishing the trumpet.
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#8 User is offline   Little princess Icon

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 01:09 AM

Shaking hands with your best mate.

Polishing the family jewels
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#9 User is offline   Chyld Icon

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 01:55 AM

erm... raising the flag?
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
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#10 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 10:22 PM

If I weren’t afraid of getting links to about twenty million porn sites, I'd probably do a google search for more phrases...

unsure.gif
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Chyld is an ignorant slut.

QUOTE
"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space; I'm a loony, for God's sake!"
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
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#11 User is offline   Heccubus Icon

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 11:00 PM

This reminds me when my friends at school and I spent about three hours gathering a 300+ word list on synonyms for genitals. I think we managed to use them all within a week afterwards too. Anyway, carry on. Some of these are priceless, and demand constant useage.
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#12 User is offline   spacemonkey Icon

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Posted 13 June 2004 - 07:21 AM

ok, thought of some more.

petting the puppy
dancing the one handed mambo
walking the dog
strangling the snake
strumming the one stringed banjo (have we had that?)
catching the elephant by the trunk
killing the lemur laugh.gif
calling private johnson to attention

getting bizay
practice (if you've seen 'coupling', you should get this!)
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#13 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 14 June 2004 - 02:05 AM

QUOTE (Heccubus @ Jun 11 2004, 11:00 PM)
This reminds me when my friends at school and I spent about three hours gathering a 300+ word list on synonyms for genitals.  I think we managed to use them all within a week afterwards too.  Anyway, carry on.  Some of these are priceless, and demand constant useage.

So you talk about genitalia often, then? huh.gif

Does that strike anyone else as odd?

This post has been edited by SimeSublime: 14 June 2004 - 02:05 AM

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#14 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 14 June 2004 - 02:07 AM

I haven't been able to see many episodes of Coupling on BBCA, but I remember watching one where there was much confusion over the meaning of "solos"...
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Chyld is an ignorant slut.

QUOTE
"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space; I'm a loony, for God's sake!"
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
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#15 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 14 June 2004 - 02:10 AM

I don't think I remember that particular episode, Jane. What else happened. I love Coupling, Jeff is God.
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