[Stalky]

Nah, only other people get STDs.

[Shawnathan]

I've done enough work in a grocery store to be put off of children.

AMEN!

This post has been edited by Shawnathan: 22 April 2005 - 09:17 AM

[Chyld]

See, most of the time when I was a pharmacy dogsbody, all I got was old ladies getting medicene, people asking for the pharmacists recommendation on certain drugs, and the friends of the hot chick I worked with. Suprisingly few small children. But the ones I suffered, they all either squealed for lollies, fucked around with the low-lying stock, and one decided to play pokey-pokey with the ten-grand photo printing machine. I'm not inflicting that on anyone until I can make sure the little shits do exactly what I say, when I say it.

crossref: Maddox's article on the subject.

[Kirby]

What about adoption? Is that still cosher?

[Voodoo Dog]

Adoption=taking care of annoying brats.

So no, adoption is not kosher.

Since it is vaguely topical, I would like to jam the following sick thought into people's brains.

The human birth process means that at some point in all our lives we were in contact with our mothers vagina

God probably gets off on incest porn

[SimeSublime]

Icey seems to agree with that point.

Personally, I think adoption is preferable to having your own children.

[Jane Sherwood]

Icey killed a puppy.

[floppydisk]

Birth is disgusting anyways.

[Random George]

Which is why it is by far more practical to receive babies via the stork… but that in itself presents a whole different question! Where do those babies come from?! Ponder thoughtfully for but a moment while inhaling glue fumes, and all will be revealed…

*Sniffle…*

[Gabriel Mobius]

Birth is disgusting anyways.

Aye, I agree with you there. It makes me wonder why people keep going around preaching about the 'miracle of birth' anyway. Have they ever seen one take place? That's no miracle, that's a bloody punishment.

On a side note, I applaud the men who can stand watching a birth and not faint, as they have far more self-control than I. (That, or an uncanny ability to completely ignore sensory input.) That, and men who can restrain themselves from smacking their children around. I applaud their self-control, but laugh at their pain. I'd just smack a child, period. As I have done on past occaisions. Filthy little fleshbags.

[floppydisk]

Oh yeah. I saw one in seventh grade as part of... something. I can't remember what, but it was absolutely disgusting.

And those people who are all for the 'miracle of birth' are all stupid christian folk who also are pro-life at all cost.

[Icey]

Aye, I agree with you there. It makes me wonder why people keep going around preaching about the 'miracle of birth' anyway. Have they ever seen one take place? That's no miracle, that's a bloody punishment.

On a side note, I applaud the men who can stand watching a birth and not faint, as they have far more self-control than I. (That, or an uncanny ability to completely ignore sensory input.) That, and men who can restrain themselves from smacking their children around. I applaud their self-control, but laugh at their pain. I'd just smack a child, period. As I have done on past occaisions. Filthy little fleshbags.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Since I have never experienced giving birth to anything, and the closest thing I've gotten to it was constipation I can only say this. Childbirth is a strangely romantic, straining, difficult, stressful, scary, horrifying and beautiful event. A lot of pain is involved, but ask any mother if the pain was worth it. 98% chances are that she'll say yes.

I'll be the first person to admit that I hate most kids. Just something in me, remnants of Pet Cemetary and crappy children's movies. I just find most kids scary (and that goes double for starie babies that know my horrible secret) but I've always wanted offspring. Most people propably don't understand that viewpoint but once you have kids... You feel like your future is more secure. In 18 years, I can die and I will know that I have an heir, an extension of myself still in this world keeping me a life. My life will have served a purpose.

Because of that I really do pity people that don't want offspring, or are unable to have them. They are missing out on a love that is deeper than anything you have experienced, and I've been told when it comes to grandchildren it gets even deeper. I'm really looking far ahead here, but I'm looking forward to experiencing that as well.

[looktothesky]

Because of that I really do pity people that don't want offspring...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry... But I don't!

[floppydisk]

Me eiither, but I do understand where you're coming from, Icey.

[Chyld]

Well, I'm not having kids until:
-I'm quite sure I can make them do as I say (as we've established, I'm not the hardest bloke in the world...)
-The idea of being woken at 3am by a screaming child doesn't switch my "Murder Everyone" instincts.