Unlikely heros Who is buying this crap?
#1
Posted 21 December 2004 - 08:28 AM
Jar Jar Binks
In this scene, Jar Jar brings Queen Amidala before Boss Nass, forging an important alliance between the Naboo and the Gungans.
What makes him an unlikely hero? He's clumsy. He doesn't have very good manners. He's been in trouble with the Gungan authorities. And he's been known to accidentally get into danger.
Sound like an unlikely hero? Perhaps, but Jar Jar was eventually considered a great warrior by Boss Nass, the leader of the Gungans, for uniting the Gungans and the Naboo. He was then made a general in the Gungan army, and in this role led many brave Gungans into battle against the Trade Federation battle droids.
#2
Posted 21 December 2004 - 10:13 AM
Jar Jar Binks
In this scene, Jar Jar brings Queen Amidala before Boss Nass, forging an important alliance between the Naboo and the Gungans.
What makes him an unlikely hero? He's clumsy. He doesn't have very good manners. He's been in trouble with the Gungan authorities. And he's been known to accidentally get into danger.
Sound like an unlikely hero? Perhaps, but Jar Jar was eventually considered a great warrior by Boss Nass, the leader of the Gungans, for uniting the Gungans and the Naboo. He was then made a general in the Gungan army, and in this role led many brave Gungans into battle against the Trade Federation battle droids.
Did you notice that Jar Jar landed on his crotch during the battle at the end of "Phantom Menace" when he's nearly blown to bits and lands on the tank gun? I shit you not, he landed on that gun CROTCH first, and it's made all the more obvious by the obnoxious expression of pain he displays. Just one more reason to hate that damned elongated CGI man-frog if you ask me.
I'd like a qui-gon jinn please with an obi-wan to go.
#3
Posted 21 December 2004 - 12:08 PM
How did Obi-Wan become a General, I wonder? I can imagine the scene:
INTERIOR: PALPATINE'S OFFICE
YODA and PALPATINE sit at a table, deep in discussion.
PALPATINE: So have you discovered who the Sith Lord is yet, Master Yoda?
YODA: (Shakes head sadly) No. Meditated on it, I have - but no use, it was.
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, carrying a tea-tray.
OBI-WAN: Here's your tea, Master Yoda. And Chancellor, I brought you a coronation chicken sandwich with the crusts cut off, just as you like it.
PALPATINE: Wonderful! Tell me, Obi-Wan, how would you like to be a general in the Republic's new army?
OBI-WAN: I'm... flattered, Chancellor. But shouldn't a job like that go to someone with proven leadership abilities and military experience?
PALPATINE: Technically yes, but unfortuantely we don't actually have anyone with military experience, since for some unfathomable reason we never had an army before now. Besides, you seem like a talented young lad... so what do you say?
OBI-WAN: Very well, Chancellor. (Under his breath) I suppose it'll at least stop him giving the job to Anakin.
- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
#4
Posted 21 December 2004 - 06:34 PM
- you mean such as a jedi.
please helena no where in your rambling do you make any sense.
This post has been edited by use the force: 21 December 2004 - 06:35 PM
#5
Posted 21 December 2004 - 08:07 PM
INTERIOR: PALPATINE'S OFFICE
YODA and PALPATINE sit at a table, deep in discussion.
PALPATINE: So have you discovered who the Sith Lord is yet, Master Yoda?
YODA: (Shakes head sadly) No. Meditated on it, I have - but no use, it was.
Enter OBI-WAN KENOBI, carrying a tea-tray.
OBI-WAN: Here's your tea, Master Yoda. And Chancellor, I brought you a coronation chicken sandwich with the crusts cut off, just as you like it.
PALPATINE: Wonderful! Tell me, Obi-Wan, how would you like to be a general in the Republic's new army?
OBI-WAN: I'm... flattered, Chancellor. But shouldn't a job like that go to someone with proven leadership abilities and military experience?
PALPATINE: Technically yes, but unfortuantely we don't actually have anyone with military experience, since for some unfathomable reason we never had an army before now. Besides, you seem like a talented young lad... so what do you say?
OBI-WAN: Very well, Chancellor. (Under his breath) I suppose it'll at least stop him giving the job to Anakin.
continued:
PALPATINE: I can't give the job to Anikan... He's been my advisor for the last 10 years...
Helena... you Rock!!! I hope you're planning on becomming a satirical novelist or something one day...
This post has been edited by barend: 21 December 2004 - 08:07 PM
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#6
Posted 22 December 2004 - 10:19 AM
dooku. sifo dyas. lord tyrannus. el camino. poggle the lesser. elian sleazebaggano. jango.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm rambling too. but in a sensical manner, hmmmm?
#7
Posted 22 December 2004 - 12:07 PM
- you mean such as a jedi.
please helena no where in your rambling do you make any sense.
It was a joke. The point I was trying to make - which everyone else but you seems to understand, strangely enough - is that Lucas hands out top-level military positions left, right and centre to people who haven't done anything whatsoever to earn them. Showing proficiency as a pilot or in hand-to-hand combat (or, in Jar Jar's case, nothing at all) does not automatically make you capable of leading troops, and neither does being a Jedi. I have no idea how Obi-Wan actually became a General, but what I proposed in my spoof is no less ridiculous than the reason why Jar Jar was made one.
- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
#8
Posted 22 December 2004 - 03:32 PM
#9
Posted 22 December 2004 - 03:38 PM
- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
#10
Posted 22 December 2004 - 03:48 PM
E chu Ta
#12
Posted 22 December 2004 - 05:57 PM
he's been so witty latley...
i think it's performance enhancing drugs...
------------------------------------
Also: The Chefelf.com Lord of the Rings | RoBUTZ (a primative webcomic) | KOTOR 1 NPC profiles |
Music: HYPOID (industrial rock) | Spectrox Toxemia (Death Metal) | Cannibalingus (80s style thrash metal) | Wasabi Nose Bleed (Exp.Techno) | DeadfeeD (Exp.Ambient) |||(more to come)