Lines you'd like to hear in Star Wars What it says.
#1
Posted 22 October 2006 - 12:44 PM
"Master Jedi? Just for five minutes, will you ditch the pretentious high-fantasy speak and start talking like a normal human being?"
"Pardon the impertinence, Your Majesty, but what the fuck is that you're wearing?"
"Great news! New scientific evidence has conclusively proved that the entire 'Midichlorian' thing is utter bullshit. Now we can finally get rid of that useless little wanker Skywalker..."
"What? Make you a member of the Jedi Council, you little pipsqueak? HAHAHAHAHAHA..."
- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
#3
Posted 23 October 2006 - 01:39 AM
Great one, Flying Dutchman! Here is another, along the same lines:
(The first Death Star in orbit over Naboo, geosynchronous over the Gungan portion) "Fire at will, Commander! But start slowly so the miserable bastards boil first!"
"Your Majesty, so many people would not have suffered and died had you deigned to stay in the same clothes for more than five minutes and we could have gotten to Coruscant that much faster!
#4
Posted 24 October 2006 - 01:40 AM
Han Solo: Shh.
Princess Leia: Let go, please.
Han Solo: Don't get excited.
Princess Leia: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
Han Solo: Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else.
Princess Leia: Hell, sure you do! Let's get it on!
(Cue synthesizer)
#5
Posted 24 October 2006 - 12:21 PM
Princess Leia: Let go.
Han Solo: Shh.
Princess Leia: Let go, please.
Han Solo: Don't get excited.
Princess Leia: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited.
Han Solo: Sorry sweetheart. I haven't got time for anything else.
Princess Leia: Hell, sure you do! Let's get it on!
(Cue synthesizer)
(Glances and Winks into the Camera)
Hans Solo: Nice! I was getting tired of doing the old "hand solo" all the time.
#6
Posted 24 October 2006 - 10:24 PM
LUKE: Hmmm..so many buttons. This may be problematic seeing as how I have never flown this ship before or received even a millisecond of training. Let's see....what does this button do?
X-WING COMPUTER: Self-Destruct Sequence Activated
BOOM!
Luke is dead.
That's what should have happened....
This post has been edited by Storm: 24 October 2006 - 10:26 PM
#7
Posted 25 October 2006 - 02:08 AM
LUKE: Hmmm..so many buttons. This may be problematic seeing as how I have never flown this ship before or received even a millisecond of training. Let's see....what does this button do?
X-WING COMPUTER: Self-Destruct Sequence Activated
BOOM!
Luke is dead.
That's what should have happened....
Jeez ... we're back to this again?
a ) The ASTROMECH droid (in this case R2D2) supplied with each ship supplied all the navigation, while the pilot supplies the refelxes. This is the explanation offered by the film itself, so you wouldn't try to make sense of people in the STAR WARS universe being able to pilot anything.
b ) it's not serious science fiction, so your objections are silly. Care to question how physics explains the Force?
-------
(Continuation)
C3P0: Captain, I am fluent in six million forms of ...
Han: Shut up, goldenrod!
Leia: No, wait ...
#8
Posted 25 October 2006 - 02:17 AM
LUKE: Hmmm..so many buttons. This may be problematic seeing as how I have never flown this ship before or received even a millisecond of training. Let's see....what does this button do?
X-WING COMPUTER: Self-Destruct Sequence Activated
BOOM!
Luke is dead.
That's what should have happened....
*wank wank*
#9
Posted 25 October 2006 - 07:46 AM
- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
#10
Posted 25 October 2006 - 01:30 PM
But back to the task
this should be in episode six
hands down.
Han: You love him, don't you?
Leia:Of course i do,but...
Han: Well then u sholud be with him.
Leia: No! No. Han he's my brother.
Han: Oh... so i guess a threesome is out of the question,huh?
Duct tape is like the force....
There's a lightside, a darkside
and it holds everything together
There are too many people in the world...We need another plague -Dwight K. Shrute [The Office]
#11
Posted 25 October 2006 - 02:59 PM
Skywalker: I'm so evil and corrupted by dark side power
Palpatine: No you're not
Skywalker: I know.
Palpatine: ....
Skywalker: I'm soo sorry <3 : (
This post has been edited by Jordan: 25 October 2006 - 03:00 PM
#12
Posted 25 October 2006 - 08:49 PM
Here's another one anyways....
(When the Avenger is chasing the Falcon)
NEEDA: They're moving into attack position.
NEEDA: Shields up!
NEEDA: Track them! They may come around for another pass.
IMPERIAL OFFICER: Captain Needa, the ship has just passed the top part of the command tower.
(10 seconds later) They are now moving to the backside of the tower.
(20 seconds later) They have quietly landed on the backside of the command tower.
NEEDA: Dispatch 100 Tie Fighters.
This post has been edited by Storm: 25 October 2006 - 08:53 PM
#13
Posted 26 October 2006 - 01:17 AM
Hmm. Hence the jokes about porn and the OT.
You see, the things you're saying are justrehashes of arguments from another topic. They're not actually "jokes," you know, with punchlines.
But believe what you like about people.
#15
Posted 26 October 2006 - 08:40 AM
Leia:Of course i do,but...
Han: Well then u should be with him. Me, I found I like dumpy opinionated broads, and there's one who has the hots for me and has promised to be my love slave.
I can dream, can't I?
This post has been edited by miladyblue: 26 October 2006 - 08:41 AM