QUOTE (Slade @ May 3 2005, 06:44 AM)
Your lack of associating sex with your interpretation makes me seriously doubt that you meant a Freudian interpretation.
Tut tut tut, mister Sladey man! Since I am assuming you are a hardcore geek like myself, you really should have known better than to say THAT. There's more to freudian interpretations than sex boyos. (and girlos) Freudian slips occur whenever a person subconsciously mentions any subject they deeply care about in their everyday speech or in their art. I've always considered it to be hilariously ironic that when most people think of Freud, they think of his theories on sex, not his theories on any other subject. They are therefore living up to his theory that the human mind, either consciously or sub-consciously, believes sex to be the most important thing in the universe. You dirty minded little wanker, Slade! That said, to satisfy your endless lust for lust, I'll give you a
sexual theory this time. Hold onto your cocks, chappies!
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS IS GAY!
(The Spongebob Squarepants movie)
When I mentioned this in the subtitle, my only goal was to suck you sick, sick perverts in so I could DESTROY you. But I suppose someone'll do this eventually, and I'd rather like a bash at it myself, thank you very much. Working tirelessly, I painstaking came up with a list of reasons why said sapient sponge is a bleedin' poofter. Yes I do indeed rock. Lets take a stroll through the mindsets of stupid fundies who really should be trying to stop world hunger or something instead of coming up with stupid paranoid shit like this.
(The following is a speech made at a republican fundraiser)
Forgive me for interupting brothers. I too wish to wipe the scourge of Islam from the face of this earth before it destroys us all. But I wish to bring another serious matter to your attention. Your children are in serious danger. They are in danger of being turned from the light of Gods divine plan for humanity. They are being exposed daily to a TV show called "Spongebob Squarepants". This show has been made into a major film recently, thereby exposing children all over the world to its blasphemy. I will now present undeniable evidence that this cartoon is the work of Satan. Thank you.
REASONS WHY SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS IS A FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebob has an extremely feminine voice. What other people, in this world have an extremely feminine voice? Women, Michael Jackson and FUCKING QUEERS! Since Spongebob is not a girl, and obviously isn’t intended to represent Mr. Jackson, HE HAS TO BE A FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebob has eyelashes. EYELASHES! Rule one of cartooning: never, ever EVER give male characters eyelashes unless you want them to look like FUCKING QUEERS! Both men and women have eyelashes in the real world, but its very hard to see mens because of perspective. Women however, normally curl theirs up with mascara thus making them much more visible. From this I conclude that bob wears makeup, is a secret crossdresser, and is a FUCKING QUEER! You should also note that bobs eyelashes disappear when he closes his eyes. This means that deep down bob has realised sodomy leads straight to eternal damnation and is subconsciously trying to kick the vile habit. We should all fall on our knees and thank the Divine Architect of the Universe for this small mercy. However, he is still a FUCKING QUEER!
Bob lives in a pineapple under the sea. Pineapple=fruit. Fruit=FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebob loves life. He is a happy little chappy. Whats another word for happy? Gay. What else does gay mean? FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebob wears Squarepants. Square pants. Square was once a slang word meaning uncool. Being a FUCKING QUEER is considered uncool by most youth at present, thank God. Therefore, because he wears squarepants, bob is a FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebob lives in a place called Bikini Bottom. Does anyone here know the standard dress code for beach parties held by FUCKING QUEERS? Bikini bottoms, that’s what! Because bob lives in a place called Bikini Bottom, he is a FUCKING QUEER!
Bob has a pet snail called Gary. Gary usually shows the characteristic traits of a common house cat. He frequently meows for example. The cat is a very popular pet among women. This means that Spongebob is attempting to act like a woman. This means that Spongebob is a FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebob has often promoted the heathen concept of "happiness and diversity" on the show. This is similar to the satanic ideology the FUCKING QUEERS of San Francisco spout at every given opportunity. Spongebob is saying everything the evil, godless, communist, hippy-spawning city of New Sodom has said before him, virtually word for word. Because Spongebob is telling our innocent little children to enjoy their lives and tolerate those different from ourselves, he is a FUCKING QUEER!
In certain parts of the world, the word “wet” is used to describe any weedy frail effeminate man, like a FUCKING QUEER for example. The show takes place under the sea. Therefore all the characters are very wet indeed. Because bob lives under the sea, he is a FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebob is a sponge. Sponge=soft. Soft=unmanly. Unmanly= FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebob is a sponge. Sponges tend to be very absorbent. Domestic sponges spend a large part of their existences filled with fluid. This means that Spongebob spends a large part of his life filled with evil-smelling fluids in parts of his body God never intended to them to go, just like FUCKING QUEERS!
Spongebob has a friend called Sandy Cheeks. Sandy is a girl. Sandy is also a mammal, so she lives on the surface. Whenever she visits Bob she must wear diving apparatus to save herself from drowning. Bob has the same problem, having to wear a similar device whenever he visits her, to avoid drying out and dieing. This is a metaphor for Bob and Sandy being from two different worlds, and unable to have a normal relationship together. This means that Spongebob is a FUCKING QUEER! You may be interested to know that some women actually like having a FUCKING QUEER for a best friend. When I asked one of those poor deluded feminists about this once, she responded by saying she judged a man by his personality, not his sexual preference! This is what we’ve come to people! The average citizen of America is no longer able to see the FUCKING QUEERS for the perverts they so obviously are. Judgement day canot be far off, and I consider that a blessing not a curse. The feminist also told me that she felt safer around FUCKING QUEERS more so than normal men. This is because FUCKING QUEERS are not likely to assault or rape her. Oh yeah? In Gods eyes its better to be a stalker or a rapist than a FUCKING QUEER!
Spongebobs best friend is Patrick the starfish. Patrick is pink. Patrick is pink even though real life starfishes are orange. What does the colour pink represent? Little girls and FUCKING QUEERS! Patrick is not a little girl, therefore he is a FUCKING QUEER!
In one episode Spongebob gives Patrick a valentine card to show how much he “loves” his best friend. The producers said that they wished to show how important platonic “love” is between two men, for the benefit of kids. Yeah right. As I’m sure we all know, there is no such thing as platonic “love” between two men of this earth permitted by God. Brothers, the only love for another man that should be harboured in our hearts is between us and the Divine God Jehovah, the Creator of us all, or between us and Jehovahs blessed son, the Living Christ Almighty. From this, we can conclude that Spongebob and Patrick are live-in lovers. From this we can conclude that they are FUCKING QUEERS!
Thank you.
(Wild applause punctuated with such comments as “Preach it like it is, revrund!” and “Poppa? Is mah momma mah sistah?”)
(The police are currently investigating a mass murder of 42 homosexuals at a gay pride march in San Francisco.)
That’s enough outta me.
Until next time,
Heil Hollywood!