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Star Wars became terminally ill in 1997 with some very troubling symptoms including a CGI Jabba the Hutt and Greedo-shooting-first syndrome. We thought perhaps with the new DVD release in September, these symptons may have disappeared... but Star Wars' troubles only got worse. With Temeura Morrison dubbing the voices of all the stormtroopers, Star Wars passed away.
Goodbye Star Wars. You were a breathtaking cinema escapade that awoke the spirit of fun and adventure in all of us. We will miss you.
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The Empire Strikes Back began to show terrible ailments in 1997 with Luke screaming as he fell down the giant exhaust tunnel in Cloud City and Darth Vader arriving on his Star Destroyer in the middle of another scene, cutting it in two. While these seemed to be fairly mild, the movie has detoriorated rapidly and now, with the new DVD release coming, The Empire Strikes Back is now deceased, due to terrible new dialogue from Ian McDiarmind and an awful dubbing job, once again due to Temeura Morrison.
Goodbye The Empire Strikes Back. You were the greatest sequel ever made and one of the most incredible movies of all-time. You transcended your genre. We will miss you too.
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Return of the Jedi has suffered the worst, having the dreaded Hayden Christiansen inserted into its final sequence. Obviously, this wound was fatal but we can be thankful that death came quickly to Return of the Jedi and was not slow and lingering.
Goodbye Return of the Jedi. True you had ewoks, many wasted opportunities, retreaded old ground, you were dull and uninspiring and really let your predecessors down... but you had a incredibly well choreographed space battle and an amazing climactic showdown between Luke and Darth Vader so we will miss you too.